No fairytale finish, but I can't complainNathan Brown
August 30, 2009
FRIDAY night was my last game for the Richmond Football Club. It wasn't a great night for us; we ended the year the way we started and there was to be no fairytale finish.
I stopped believing in fairytales long ago. In fact, I suspect when the princess kissed the frog to turn him into a prince, he just stayed a frog and she moved on to the next bloke.
Going into what could be your last game of football is both a humbling and nostalgic experience. You are humbled by the people speaking about you, in particular Jade Rawlings's words about me to the group, and you get a sense of nostalgia as you think back on your career. You think about the good times, the bad times, great players you've played with and against and, above all else, the lifelong mates you've made along the way.
My fate was decided before new coach Damien Hardwick took control, and even though I won't be there to usher in the new era, I think Damien is a fantastic appointment and will bring success to Richmond.
He's a hard man with a hard reputation and his first speech was based around tough, honest principles. His playing record speaks for itself - two premierships and another as an assistant at Hawthorn - and I wish him success at getting this great club back on its feet and into the finals.
Rawlings, our caretaker coach, was unlucky to miss out on the senior job. Experience was what probably went against him. However, he has left all our players in no doubt that he is a senior coach in waiting. His team defence style of football and knowing 100 per cent what he expected of you in your role and how to perform it was the thing that impressed me the most.
I completely understand and accept the club's decision. I have had a lot of injuries and respect where the club is going in rebuilding through the youth department. I'm a realist and probably thought mid-season when I was having groin problems that I might be moved on.
The funny part, depending on how you look at it, is that my groin was already sore in the pre-season and I hurt it more doing a one-arm push-up trying to impress somebody. At 31, you might think I would have better things to do.
When you are a young player you look to your heroes for inspiration but, as you get older and get to where I am, all of your heroes have retired. As I watched the players I idolised retire one by one, I tiny bit of my youth being taken away.
I was a massive Carlton fan, so in my early days I still had Greg Williams, Stephen Kernahan and Wayne Johnston posters on my wall; Mark Waugh and Shane Warne were my all-time favourite cricketers, and Tim Rogers (You Am I) and W. Axl Rose (Guns 'n' Roses) were my music idols. Lucky for me those two are still kicking about - old rockers never die.
So when I looked for inspiration going into my last game for Richmond, I went back to my heroes. I put on a tape of the 1995 Carlton premiership - Craig Bradley's first goal still makes the hairs on my neck stand up; I watched highlights of Waugh and Warne; I replayed that Gatting ball over and over and still get a laugh every time at Gatting's bemused expression. I fired up You Tube and watched rock classics like Welcome to the Jungle and Cathy's Clown. If I didn't play football, I would have been in a band.
If this is to be the end - and I'm not sure at the moment - there are a few things that will stick in my mind forever, images that can never be replaced. The 15 minutes after you win is an amazing experience: hugging and high-fiving your teammates while soaking up the adulation of the crowd; moving into the rooms to sing the theme song arm in arm. They are money-can't-buy minutes.
The roar of the crowd uniting and building when they get that sense that you are maybe a chance to kick a goal, and the second roar that follows when the goal umpire salutes. That's pretty special.
Most importantly, the mates I've made along the way. I've got best mates from my time at the Dogs (Robert Murphy may or may not be in there) and Richmond, also the big blond St Kilda captain. I live for those blokes and thank football for bringing us together.
Football gives so much to the community and families. It brings people together and inspires and touches those who are a part of it - from young kids right up to the boot-studder at your club. I owe football a lot, it made me part of a team and opened up a world I'd only dreamed of, it taught me discipline when I had some bad tendencies.
It's not about what you've done in the past or what you might do in the future, it's about the ride and it's been one hell of a ride. Not sure if it's over yet.
Nathan Brown played 137 games for the Bulldogs from 1997-2003 and 82 for Richmond from 2004-2009.
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