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General => General Discussion => Topic started by: Dubstep Dookie on December 16, 2011, 04:30:21 PM

Title: 24 hours of hell
Post by: Dubstep Dookie on December 16, 2011, 04:30:21 PM
Seeking your advice

Dooks hate doctors, and hospitals, but I'm at the gates off hell at the moment and need to canvas some opinions.

Following an Xmas feed up last night at a restaurant we'll just call 'R's Colonic Busterante', a few of us have what we suspect Is a severe case food poisoning. We suspect it was the scallops, which in hindsight did smell a bit 'cheesy'.

Anyway ill level with you all, the last 24 hours it has been violently blasting out both ends.

I'm getting a bit tired of craping my burning intestines out of my torso every 2 hours. I cant keep anything down other than small sips of water, and my smouldering behind feels like I'm wiping it with a cactus. I also can sense in a strange was that I have done permanent damage to my innards.  Something doesn't feel quite right.

So any advice over home remedies would be of assistance, or at least any similar stories would help.


Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: Loui Tufga on December 16, 2011, 04:34:10 PM
Seeking your advice

Dooks hate doctors, and hospitals, but I'm at the gates off hell at the moment and need to canvas some opinions.

Following an Xmas feed up last night at a restaurant we'll just call 'R's Colonic Busterante', a few of us have what we suspect Is a severe case food poisoning. We suspect it was the scallops, which in hindsight did smell a bit 'cheesy'.

Anyway ill level with you all, the last 24 hours it has been violently blasting out both ends.

I'm getting a bit tired of craping my burning intestines out of my torso every 2 hours. I cant keep anything down other than small sips of water, and my smouldering behind feels like I'm wiping it with a cactus. I also can sense in a strange was that I have done permanent damage to my innards.  Something doesn't feel quite right.

So any advice over home remedies would be of assistance, or at least any similar stories would help.

 :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

Merry Xmas :santa :santa
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: WilliamPowell on December 16, 2011, 04:39:58 PM
Get to the quacks you bloody coward

And try flat lemonade
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: tiger101 on December 16, 2011, 04:43:16 PM
Maybe take a page out of Davey's book and harden up and go to the doctor's.
Seriously though if I was worried enough about my personal sickness to make a thread about it on a football site then I'd go get it checked out.
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: WilliamPowell on December 16, 2011, 04:49:57 PM
I remember one time I had a mild case of food poisoning and had to head down to Lorne for a B/day party. The Great Ocean Road and food poisoning are not a match made in heaven
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: Penelope on December 16, 2011, 04:53:40 PM
....and while you're there get your prostate checked.

...you know you want to....


seriously though, i went through something similar a few years ago. I normally steer clear of pharma's poisons  but they do have products to settle things down. you are probably already dehydrated.

when you're feeling better take probiotics.
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: Dubstep Dookie on December 16, 2011, 04:58:46 PM
Maybe take a page out of Davey's book and harden up and go to the doctor's.
Seriously though if I was worried enough about my personal sickness to make a thread about it on a football site then I'd go get it checked out.

True, although in these digital times, who knows what's right and wrong.

Thanks for the tips so far. Apart from yours Boony. You are an utter bastard  >:(
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: Penelope on December 16, 2011, 05:04:45 PM
 :lol
i think you have to go through it to appreciate how bad it is.

i'd try aloe vera on the date.
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: Coach on December 16, 2011, 05:19:12 PM
Maybe take a page out of Davey's book and harden up and go to the doctor's.

:thumbsup

good luck dooks
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: Dubstep Dookie on December 16, 2011, 06:08:47 PM
Good god, just when I thought there was nothing left in me, a hidden intestinal pouch/nook has delivered  :(

Man I feel so drained.

On a positive note, about 10 min ago I've found some aloevera, oh yeah the chilli scallops fire is out  :thumbsup
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: Dubstep Dookie on December 16, 2011, 06:30:38 PM
Update, captain immodium has entered the cave of doom. Wish me luck
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: Penelope on December 16, 2011, 06:33:58 PM
dont take too much. do not exceed what is says on the pack or you'll be eating prunes for a day or so.

been there, done that.
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: The Big Richo on December 16, 2011, 07:45:16 PM
1. Crushed Ice in a sock
2. Forget wiping, bend over in the shower.
3. Scotch kills everything
4. If all else fails try the dreaded stopper, but be prepared to give birth in a week, which can open some tender wounds.

I've spent a fair bit of time in Bali.  :help
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: 1965 on December 16, 2011, 10:31:37 PM
Update, captain immodium has entered the cave of doom. Wish me luck

Just like the old days, you never could control your system.

 :lol
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: tiga on December 17, 2011, 11:46:52 AM
Dooks, I had food poisoning a month back and Immodium with a hydralite ice block chaser will work wonders. Those Hydralite Ice blocks are nectar of the gods and if desperate, can be used at both ends. Just remember this rule...In the mouth before going south.  ;D
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: Mr Magic on December 17, 2011, 11:51:29 AM
Bacterial infection likely. See a quack and get some meds to kill it off.
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: Chuck17 on December 17, 2011, 01:17:09 PM
FFS harden up and if that doesn't work;

Buy a big packet of baby wipes coz nuthn worse that a rubbed raw poop chute
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: cub on December 17, 2011, 01:20:42 PM
Refer harden up thread, keep up the fluids is the only advice  ;D
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: Dubstep Dookie on December 17, 2011, 01:47:39 PM
Thanks for all the advice so far. I think.  :)

Tiga, I might give your shicicle suggestion a miss.

I actually took 3 doses of Imodium last night and things have settled down.

Hoping the Imodium turns everything to cement and stops me from grunting one out for at least a couple of days. My R sole hurts SO bad, and needs a rest.
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: Jackstar is back again on December 18, 2011, 10:32:27 AM
friend of mine works for Hydralyte,
Its a must :thumbsup
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: Dubstep Dookie on December 18, 2011, 06:08:08 PM
friend of mine works for Hydralyte,
Its a must :thumbsup

Thanks for the tip. Despite our differences, it's reassuring to know you have the integrity of my gastro-intestinal system at heart  :cheers
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: tiga on December 18, 2011, 10:59:25 PM
friend of mine works for Hydralyte,
Its a must :thumbsup
Jack, any chance you can hook me up??  ;D I love that stuff. Hydralyte was the only thing I could keep down when I had food poisoning. Big fan of the orange.  :thumbsup
Title: 24 hours of hell, part deux - restoring the balance
Post by: Dubstep Dookie on December 21, 2011, 07:41:01 PM
Ok I though I would hold out a couple more days but it's getting beyond a joke now.

It's been 5 days since I last had a bowel movement, thanks to the 3 Immodium doses I took way back then. Little did I know you were only supposed to take one.

Anyhoot, despite Yesterdays all fruit breakfast and lunch, and con carne + beer dinner, I'm feeling, sluggish, heavy and cranky. In fact, you could punch me in the abdomin and im tipping youd break your hand.

BUT, it's time to restore the balance. I yearn to pass stool again, and I'm open to just about anything.

Your advice sought,

Dookie. 

Title: Re: 24 hours of hell, part deux - restoring the balance
Post by: Coach on December 21, 2011, 08:03:07 PM
laxatives
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell, part deux - restoring the balance
Post by: 1965 on December 21, 2011, 08:07:18 PM

Your advice sought,

Dookie.

WGAF

My advice?

STFU

 :cheers
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell, part deux - restoring the balance
Post by: cub on December 21, 2011, 08:42:00 PM
LOL It's gunna hurt like you think you can relate to a woman  :santa
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell, part deux - restoring the balance
Post by: dwaino on December 21, 2011, 08:43:49 PM
I reckon you'll be poking it with the dunny brush just to flush the bastard when you're done.
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell, part deux - restoring the balance
Post by: Dubstep Dookie on December 21, 2011, 08:57:35 PM

Your advice sought,

Dookie.

WGAF

My advice?

STFU

 :cheers

You don't like it, change the channel big guy  :-*
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell, part deux - restoring the balance
Post by: Coach on December 21, 2011, 08:58:40 PM
Like a married couple

65 doesn't like it and he has a right to say it
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell, part deux - restoring the balance
Post by: Dubstep Dookie on December 21, 2011, 10:04:24 PM
Anyhoot, back on topic please.

Going to bed now so short of some lucky midnight soil, it will be day 6 without laying cable.

I've had some All Bran and cranberries for dinner so hopefully that pushes things along.

 :sleep
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell, part deux - restoring the balance
Post by: Loui Tufga on December 21, 2011, 10:06:10 PM
Anyhoot, back on topic please.

Going to bed now so short of some lucky midnight soil, it will be day 6 without laying cable.

I've had some All Bran and cranberries for dinner so hopefully that pushes things along.

 :sleep

Don't ignor me!! Why are these thread always all about you????
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell, part deux - restoring the balance
Post by: Dubstep Dookie on December 21, 2011, 10:09:30 PM
Anyhoot, back on topic please.

Going to bed now so short of some lucky midnight soil, it will be day 6 without laying cable.

I've had some All Bran and cranberries for dinner so hopefully that pushes things along.

 :sleep

Don't ignor me!! Why are these thread always all about you????

Look, it's my behind that gone to the dogs lately. Im tired and im full of poo. You want to talk about your rubicks cubes then make your own thread.  >:(
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell, part deux - restoring the balance
Post by: Loui Tufga on December 21, 2011, 10:15:26 PM
Touché  :whistle :whistle
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: The Big Richo on December 22, 2011, 12:34:08 AM
Hard to be delicate with this but stick your hand in to the wrist and you will get a result.
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: Dubstep Dookie on December 22, 2011, 05:47:50 PM
WWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHKA!  :thumbsup



Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: Loui Tufga on December 22, 2011, 07:17:37 PM
Hard to be delicate with this but stick your hand in to the wrist and you will get a result.

I have tears  :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: Dubstep Dookie on December 22, 2011, 07:33:58 PM
Just to clarify, I'm all good now.  :thumbsup

I was out and about today when the bell tolled. Not wanting to miss the window of opportunity, i made a straight armed dash to the nearest public toilet.

I won't go into specific details, other than saying Gerks comments some years ago about "trying to flush a pair of jeans down an S-Bend" are at the forefront of my mind.

Thanks again for all your tips and encouragement. And thank you to the mods for the tolerance.



Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: gerkin greg on December 22, 2011, 08:41:27 PM
You are an absolute peanut shifter  :lol
Title: Re: 24 hours of hell
Post by: tiga on December 22, 2011, 09:59:47 PM
Just to clarify, I'm all good now.  :thumbsup

I was out and about today when the bell tolled. Not wanting to miss the window of opportunity, i made a straight armed dash to the nearest public toilet.

I won't go into specific details, other than saying Gerks comments some years ago about "trying to flush a pair of jeans down an S-Bend" are at the forefront of my mind.

Thanks again for all your tips and encouragement. And thank you to the mods for the tolerance.
Damn! I was waiting for you to have a crack at a high colonic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JBLcH_pXSE
Warning, don't deviate from the path of this youtube video as you may end up hitting Two Girls One Cup  ;D