24 hours of hell

[Dubstep Dookie]

Seeking your advice

Dooks hate doctors, and hospitals, but I'm at the gates off hell at the moment and need to canvas some opinions.

Following an Xmas feed up last night at a restaurant we'll just call 'R's Colonic Busterante', a few of us have what we suspect Is a severe case food poisoning. We suspect it was the scallops, which in hindsight did smell a bit 'cheesy'.

Anyway ill level with you all, the last 24 hours it has been violently blasting out both ends.

I'm getting a bit tired of craping my burning intestines out of my torso every 2 hours. I cant keep anything down other than small sips of water, and my smouldering behind feels like I'm wiping it with a cactus. I also can sense in a strange was that I have done permanent damage to my innards.  Something doesn't feel quite right.

So any advice over home remedies would be of assistance, or at least any similar stories would help.

[Loui Tufga]

Seeking your advice

Dooks hate doctors, and hospitals, but I'm at the gates off hell at the moment and need to canvas some opinions.

Following an Xmas feed up last night at a restaurant we'll just call 'R's Colonic Busterante', a few of us have what we suspect Is a severe case food poisoning. We suspect it was the scallops, which in hindsight did smell a bit 'cheesy'.

Anyway ill level with you all, the last 24 hours it has been violently blasting out both ends.

I'm getting a bit tired of craping my burning intestines out of my torso every 2 hours. I cant keep anything down other than small sips of water, and my smouldering behind feels like I'm wiping it with a cactus. I also can sense in a strange was that I have done permanent damage to my innards.  Something doesn't feel quite right.

So any advice over home remedies would be of assistance, or at least any similar stories would help.

 

Merry Xmas

[WilliamPowell]

Get to the quacks you bloody coward

And try flat lemonade

[tiger101]

Maybe take a page out of Davey's book and harden up and go to the doctor's.
Seriously though if I was worried enough about my personal sickness to make a thread about it on a football site then I'd go get it checked out.

[WilliamPowell]

I remember one time I had a mild case of food poisoning and had to head down to Lorne for a B/day party. The Great Ocean Road and food poisoning are not a match made in heaven

[Penelope]

....and while you're there get your prostate checked.

...you know you want to....


seriously though, i went through something similar a few years ago. I normally steer clear of pharma's poisons  but they do have products to settle things down. you are probably already dehydrated.

when you're feeling better take probiotics.

[Dubstep Dookie]

Maybe take a page out of Davey's book and harden up and go to the doctor's.
Seriously though if I was worried enough about my personal sickness to make a thread about it on a football site then I'd go get it checked out.

True, although in these digital times, who knows what's right and wrong.

Thanks for the tips so far. Apart from yours Boony. You are an utter bastard 

[Penelope]

 
i think you have to go through it to appreciate how bad it is.

i'd try aloe vera on the date.

[Coach]

Maybe take a page out of Davey's book and harden up and go to the doctor's.

good luck dooks

[Dubstep Dookie]

Good god, just when I thought there was nothing left in me, a hidden intestinal pouch/nook has delivered 

Man I feel so drained.

On a positive note, about 10 min ago I've found some aloevera, oh yeah the chilli scallops fire is out 

[Dubstep Dookie]

Update, captain immodium has entered the cave of doom. Wish me luck

[Penelope]

dont take too much. do not exceed what is says on the pack or you'll be eating prunes for a day or so.

been there, done that.

[The Big Richo]

1. Crushed Ice in a sock
2. Forget wiping, bend over in the shower.
3. Scotch kills everything
4. If all else fails try the dreaded stopper, but be prepared to give birth in a week, which can open some tender wounds.

I've spent a fair bit of time in Bali. 

[1965]

Update, captain immodium has entered the cave of doom. Wish me luck

Just like the old days, you never could control your system.

 

[tiga]

Dooks, I had food poisoning a month back and Immodium with a hydralite ice block chaser will work wonders. Those Hydralite Ice blocks are nectar of the gods and if desperate, can be used at both ends. Just remember this rule...In the mouth before going south.