Richmond legend Neville Crowe struggles to remember his children's names Mark Robinson
From: Herald Sun
October 06, 2012 NEVILLE Crowe has his wit about him, and his humour, but it is sporadic.
The Richmond great has Alzheimer's disease and it has robbed this giant of a man of the ability to do what most take for granted, such as remembering his children's names.
"It's a very, very evil disease," Crowe's wife, Valy, said. "They are like children, and he's my boy."
"They" are Valy's husband and her mother, diagnosed with Alzheimer's a week apart in September last year.
They live together in Burwood, with mum in the cottage at the back, and as Valy shed a tear about the two people she loves most, she said it wasn't about her, or the carers.
Crowe - who had to be rescued last month after tumbling from his bicycle into the Yarra River - courageously wanted to talk about life with Alzhiemer's. The disease mostly affects people aged over 65, and one in four over 85 has dementia.
At 75, Crowe speaks softly and carefully, but his answers don't always relate to the questions.
"It takes everything away from what I was doing with my family, writing, a dozen other things," he said.
"I just struggle with it. It's just trashy sort of stuff. I haven't got the vocabulary I had.
"I get up to go to the pantry or fridge and, by the time I get there, I try to find out what the hell I was going there for.
"I could say hello to this person and within a very short period of time I'm just shaking. I shake because it is there."
Crowe was anxious about doing this interview - "I'm probably a little scared about what was going to be put before me," he said.
Scared? Neville Crowe?
He played 151 games for the Tigers from 1957-67. He was captain, a multiple best-and-fairest winner, president, a Hall of Famer and general scallywag.
He finished work with the Tigers in 2009 after an episode at a luncheon for the club's Bequest Society, which he helped establish and where he was a speaker.
"All of a sudden he just couldn't talk," Valy Crowe said. "He told me, 'I died a million deaths'."
At another luncheon, Crowe's face "just whitened, and what was a minute seemed like two hours".
Valy recalled: "He said, 'Sorry folks, we're all in the same boat. This is what old age does. I hate it'.
"For months after, he kept saying, 'I don't want to be remembered at the Richmond Football Club for not remembering my lines. I want to be remembered for being 'Crowey'.
"It's changed Neville's life dramatically. His words are not as flowing and very often the words are completely the wrong words.
"Neville was the most beautiful writer, wrote exquisitely, but he can't write very much any more."
Alzheimer's can be accompanied by annoyance and aggression.
"But he's a very gentle person with it," Valy said. "I'm very fortunate. There's never an aggression, ever."
Crowe's memory loss pains him. He has seven children and, when asked to name them, he starts slowly.
"We've got Richard, who's just turned 51 about six months ago, and there's Jon ... and that's where the train stops," he said.
"I think I'm being overwhelmed. I'm just not doing this well."
One of his daughters, Isobella, was visiting.
"She's right there in the room with me but I can't think of her name," he said.
Crowe spoke to the Herald Sun to raise awareness of Alzheimer's, to help people understand life choices can be made with the disease.
Valy's choice is to look after her husband and her mother.
If she asks Crowe to set to the table, he will. If she leaves food on the table and asks him to cook pasta sauce, the food is back in the fridge when she gets home. The washing stays in the washing machine. On and on it goes, but the loss of contact hurts the most.
"Just putting his arms around me and telling me he loves me ... I just miss that," Valy said.
People with inquries can contact the National Dementia Helpline on 1800 100 500.
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/afl/more-news/richmond-legend-neville-crowe-struggles-to-remember-his-childrens-names/story-e6frf9jf-1226489487840
