Funniest/wittiest comment heard at the footy

[mightytiges]

What are some of the funniest and wittiest comments you've heard sung out at the footy?

I remember a game where a Richmond player got tackled high by an Eagles player and was awarded the free within 5 seconds of the game starting. This wag not far behind me shouts out "he's been doing  it all day umpire"  .

[Fishfinger]

Rich v South a long time ago  Barry Round got a free for a high tackle. Someone yelled out that it couldn't be around the neck because he hasn't got one.

Best from on the field I can think of was Kelvin Moore telling Mark Jackson he'd never be a footballer as long as his arse pointed to the ground. Nice reply from Jacko by doing handstands for the next 5 minutes. 

[mightytiges]

There's this Tiger supporter who sits a row or so in front of me on the members wing who couldn't stand the way Cambo played footy. One day he was going on about it to his mate next to him, when the ball is kicked forward and Cambo marks about 35m out. Cambo decides plays on, stops but still kicks a goal off one step. Everyone is out of seats cheering except for this one guy who stays firmly in his seat, arms crossed and says "I still don't like him and that's why" lol.   

Nice reply from Jacko by doing handstands for the next 5 minutes. 

It's still hard to believe Jacko kicked 100 goals for Richmond's reserves in 1980 .

[Tiger Spirit]

This was from a commentator, but thought it was worth a smirk at least.  I was listening to the footy on the radio one afternoon.  Carlton was playing and, according to the commentators, their ruckman, who was Justin Madden, was wearing a helmet.  ???   

Anyway, the commentators thought that was pretty funny and one of them says that maybe he’s wearing it in case of low flying aeroplanes.  Which seemed like a reasonable enough explanation, because I couldn’t think of any other reason why a bloke who’s about 2 metres tall would wear a helmet to play footy? 

[Fishfinger]

Ages ago (seems to be a trend for my stories  ) we were getting slaughtered at the MCG when a dog somehow got onto the ground. A bloke in front of me was screaming at the Richmond bench to leave the dog on and take Laffy off. 

This one is second hand. Big Bob Herd was near the boundary and someone yelled at him, "Take off the mask Bob, you're scaring the kids."

[mightytiges]

Ages ago (seems to be a trend for my stories  ) we were getting slaughtered at the MCG when a dog somehow got onto the ground. A bloke in front of me was screaming at the Richmond bench to leave the dog on and take Laffy off. 

  - the dog had pace and could get the ball lol.

Remember KB in 1990 bursting through the big green doors of rooms at Waverley at half time all pumped up and shouting "we've got 'em" when we trailed the Pies by 2 goals. We came out after half-time and got pumped  .

And who'll forget Spud in his first year against North at 3/4 time saying out aloud that the Roos were too old and too slow. Yep we got pumped in that one too in the last quarter. What great coaches with psychic abilities we've had in the past two decades lol.   

[WilliamPowell]

"Great decision Ump - now explain that to me"