With a little help from Dire Straits
Warning lights are flashing down at quality footy control
Somebody traded for a dud and they threw him in the defensive hole
There's rumors in the members' bay and anger in Struggletown
Some are very fickle and want to tear Punt Rd's walls down
There's a meeting in the boardroom they're trying to trace the smell
There's leaking in the changeroom, there's a sneak in personnel
Somewhere in the midfield corridor everyone was seen to freeze
goodness me could this be Richmond disease?
The first round pick was crucified for sleeping against the goalpost
The fans refusing to be pacified, it's him they blame the most
The grog squad's got rabies, the coteries got fleas
And everyone's concerned about Richmond disease
There's panic on the club switchboard, tongues are tied in knots
Some ring up in sympathy, some want everyone shot
Some blame the recruitment, some the coaching
But everybody knows it's the Richmond disease
The media is disgusted, sharpens tools and talks
No excuses for the injured, the experience should walk
Ben Holland's seeking damages and everyone agrees
That these are classic symptoms of a salary cap squeeze
On MMM and 3AW they talk about the curse
Mike Sheahan is useless, Caroline is worse
History boils over there's a total success freeze
Frawley invents words that mean Richmond disease
Doctor Parkinson declared I'm not surprised to see you here
Your footskills are shocking, you play like you've had 30 beers
I dont know how you came to be such mentally softy
But worst of all young man you've got Richmond disease
He wrote me a prescription he said you must be depressed
But I'm glad you came to see me to get this off your chest
Come back and see me 25 years later - next patient please
Send in another victim of Richmond disease
I go down to Punt-Bridge Rds corner and I'm thunderstruck
They've got free speech for Tiger purists, police in trucks
Two men say they're Geez, one of them must be wrong
There's a petition signer signing a protest song - he says
They wanna 18 teams to keep us on our knees
They wanna 18 teams to steal our draftees
They wanna 18 teams to stop us ever having victory
They wanna 18 teams to keep Richmond disease
They're kicking to the enemy like they're deaf and blind
They sap your energy and incarcerate your mind
They give you rules that insane ya, plastic cup beer, no FTA TV
Two weeks interstate thanks to AA and Andy D.
Meanwhile the first Geez says I'd cure it soon
Abolish all the duds and remove all the goons
The other one's got a goal shot but he's missed from 10 and no degrees
How come Geez gets Richmond disease