I have just realized why our players cant hit a target.
Having a look through the Coaches and Football deparment lists, its clear that a players day goes something like this.
See Frawley - "Yeah nah, ya cant kick but you'll get a game anyway."
See either and/or Crocke, Brittain, Spargo - "don't listen to spud - you can kick a little bit"
See Miller - "I am the messiah, eveyone says so, now go away"
See the football operations manager - "mate, you wanna come to this time-management course next week ?"
See the football operations co-ordinator - "I should be going to that time-management course, not hutchy. Can you put a good word for me with miller ?"
See the player development manager - "Your gonna need to learn your 12 times tables if you wanna be a mathematician"
See the opposition analyst - "The opposition are the ones in the red jumpers - you want me to say it again ?"
See the Football technology co-ordinator "Yeah - the're pig skin."
See the statisticians - "Shesarunnin is 2-4 on at Caulfield"
See the coaches assistants - "Yeah, Danny likes skim milk in his coffee"
See recruiting manager - "Mate, you played well at the Broadmeadows Tuck shop under 28's staff comp - just think of those days and do the same"
See the specialist Coach " Yeah, you gotta box, its good for gettting those little jabs in and around the ball"
See the fitness staff "You gotta run around the Tan - its the spot to be seen !"
See medical staff - "You seem to be missing a heart - we'll see if we can get you one"
See the dieticians - "Did you see that "upsize me" movie !"
See the podiatrist - "I've got a foot fetish, why else would I be a podiatrsit. My boyfriends a proctolagist"
See the massuer - " Feng Shui maan Feng Shui - thats what its all about..."
And it keeps going ............
When does someone say "Hey Fiora, you missed 8 targets last week - get out there and practise kicking a damn footy"
And I can see where the $2 mil is.
