Eight things young AFL players should know
Nathan Brown | June 21, 2009
IT GOES without saying that I've learnt a lot since I brought my Kurt Cobain haircut down the Calder Highway from Bendigo back in 1996. The learning curve at my new club, the Western Bulldogs, had parallels with my teenaged development in matters female — both a case of "I wish I'd known then what what I know now". Girls and football, two of the great topics of life, debated at every chance when two or more males get together.
Anyway, I got to thinking that my experiences and lessons learnt — some the hard way — might be useful for young players coming into the bright lights of the AFL. Here is my eight-point plan for a smooth(er) transition.
1. STAY OFF THE PUNTPunting is like anything, you need to know what you are doing. Good punters (even professional punters) spend days and days researching the form and yet regularly get it wrong, so if you think you might splash around some of your newfound wealth courtesy of football and expect to make it bigger, remember that you might lose. I've played with young kids who have lost everything — along with their mind — trying to beat the system and be $10,000 down to a loan shark.
Loan sharks are not people you want to get involved with — ever.
In my first year in Melbourne, I looked at the even-money odds for an Arsenal v Leicester City game in the English Premier League, and put $1000 on Arsenal. "Easy money, double my money," I thought. "There's a new TV for me." After 90 minutes, the score read 0-0. I had just blown more money than I had ever seen in my life. I haven't gambled again.
2. LEARN THE CLUB HISTORYIt's very important to learn the club history as quickly as possible. Find out when the club won premierships, learn who the club legends are — and make a point of introducing yourself and shaking their hands when you see them. Most importantly, learn the club song. You think it's embarrassing seeing Britney Spears miming her songs? Well it's just as embarrassing trying to mime your club song after your first win, with the TV cameras on you.
3. GROW A THICK SKINFootball clubs can be very unforgiving places. You need to grow a thick skin to put up with the practical jokes, the ribbing, the coach's sprays, the fans' wrath, the media opinion.
The banter at football clubs throws up some of the funniest moments you will have and can make people closer, but from time to time, someone might overstep the mark so you need to get the balance of humour and sarcasm right. I once couldn't figure out why my car smelt so much. On closer inspection, I found that someone had stuffed a fish underneath the driver's seat. It's funny now, but at the time I was furious.
4. GET TWO ALARM CLOCKSYou would be surprised over the years at how many times teammates have been late for training, games, massage, etc, with the excuse, "My alarm didn't go off!" Sorry? What's that? Your alarm didn't go off? Whose alarm doesn't go off? I have never seen an alarm not go off in my life. If you stupidly set it for PM, then obviously it's not going to go off. We have punishments for being late that can include a 6am swim session in the bay. I suggest this is a very good reason why you would set two alarms. I have never been late in 13 years of football and I put that down to having two alarm clocks.
Back in 2004, a player was continually late and one morning rocked up late again. He was made to run laps with 10 wristwatches all the way up his arm to remind him of the importance of punctuality. Funniest thing I've ever seen at training.
5. BE CAREFUL WITH stuffstuff has become a phenomenon and is a good way to stay in contact with your friends, but for an AFL player it can be very dangerous. You have no control over what other people post about you. Anyone can take a photo of you out having a few beers, kissing some girl in the corner (which, if you have a girlfriend, will pose a problem for you). And camera phones, as Wally Lewis' son Lincoln, from Home & Away found out, is not the place to make your home movies.
Media outlets have employees trawling through stuff and Myspace looking for anything that might be newsworthy, so make sure it's not you. Reputations take years to build and can be gone in minutes.
6. BEFRIEND THE PROPERTY STEWARDThe property steward is one of the most important people at a football club, so make friends with him. When you've turned up without your shorts or socks, he's the guy you need to turn to. I recall a Sunday training many years back when the property steward wasn't available and a player — who shall remain nameless — had forgotten his shorts. He was made to do the complete session in his underwear.
7. HANG OUT WITH THE BESTMy old man came out with many pearls of wisdom through my childhood; some advice was useful and some I wouldn't repeat to my mother.
He did say before I went to Melbourne: "Son, always hang out with people better than you and smarter than you and learn off them." He also added: "That shouldn't be hard for you to do." In my early years at the Dogs, I followed Scott West around. He was a club champion and his work ethic and attention to detail always impressed me. At Richmond, I would suggest to young kids coming in that they watch Nathan Foley go about his day-to-day football life.
8. BUY BRICKS AND MORTARYou can't go wrong with bricks and mortar. Property in a good area within 10 kilometres of the CBD will always increase in value.
There are many sharks out there who will promise you the world — no-brainers they call them, put this amount in and get this much back! If something sounds too good to be true, then it is.
Developers and entrepreneurs don't have your interests in mind, so make sure you have a good management company and a financial planner who looks after your well-being.
There you have it, an eight-point plan to making life as an AFL debutant a tad smoother. I was going to include a section on understanding women, but I don't think men ever fully understand females. The only woman I understand is my mum, she's a hip lady. OK, one tip on this subject — if the first thing a girl says to you is, "I don't know anything about football, are you a footballer?" and you are at CQ nightclub, she probably knows how many loose-ball gets you had last week at Etihad Stadium.
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