ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFLFMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Rivkah went to her doctor for a check up. Afterwards, the doctor said to her, "I must inform you that you have a fissure in your uterus, and if you ever have a baby it would be a miracle."
As soon as she got home, Rivkah said to her husband, "Moishie, you vouldn't belief it. I vent to the doctah and he told me - 'You haf a fish in your uterus and if you haf a baby it vill be a mackerel'"
A Frenchman, a German and a Jew are lost in the desert, wandering for days.
The Frenchman says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have some wine."
The German says, "I'm tired and I'm thirsty. I must have a beer."
The Jew says, "I'm tired and I'm thirsty. I must have diabetes."
Doctor to patient:
Mordy, I have good news and bad news.
The good news is that you're not a hypochondriac.
Young David asked his rich grandfather, Abe, how he had made his money. Abe said, "Well, David, it was 1955, and I was down to my last five cents. I went to the local market and invested that five cents in a large apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents."
"The next morning, I invested the ten cents in two large apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and I sold them at 5pm for twenty cents. I continued this system for a month. Then Grandma’s father died and left us two million dollars."
