After some serious consideration I have decided to put forward my ideas for this position.
Sponsorship and Marketing Coordinator (Richmond)
After some serious consideration I have decided to put forward my ideas for this position.
Sponsorship and Marketing Coordinator (Richmond)
A Nice job title usually equals a poor paying job most of the timeORGANISATION: Richmond Football Club
And a good working class operation it is too 
REPORTS TO: Sponsorship Services Manager
Never heard of him is this the bloke trying to get us a major sponsor? KEY LINKS: General Manager Commercial Operations, Football Operations Manager, Brand and Marketing Manager
Having so many links would be good for heading to the pub and having some beers 
DIRECT REPORTS: None
TYPE OF EMPLOYMENT: Permanent
Not for long when they work out the crap I usually peddle on OER 
POSITION OBJECTIVE: This role requires a high level of operational acumen, focusing on delivering exceptional client service through leveraging all RFC sponsorship accounts and identifying opportunities to add value.
Mumbo jumbo right there IMHO. KEY OBJECTIVES:
1. Key contact for servicing sponsor accounts
How hard is it to pick up the phone and talk it up! This is in the bag! 
2. Primary match day organiser (Sponsorship Services)
Organising drinks and souvlaki – Hollywood on Bridge Rd just around the corner! What a great job!
Outsource everything! Food Drinks Menus Dinners Signage Entertainment – OUTSOURCE OUTSOURCE OUTSOURCE- the less amount of work for me the better. 
3. Assist in co-ordination of Club’s marketing activities
I can co-ordinate anything! Especially in a team where everyone else is doing the work
That’s easy! I can plan – just make up the ideas, plan them and get someone else to execute 4. Manage general administration and correspondence for Sponsorship Services department
I hope this means getting the club receptionists and the secretary’s to do the dirty work HAHAHAHAHA. This is easy! 5. Assist with generation of sponsorship proposals/report writing and sponsor leads.
I can write the crap with the best of them. When I pull out the the big words like FIASCO, they’ll all be in awe down there at Punt Road! They won’t know what hit them! 
RESPONSIBILITES:
1. Key Contact for Sponsors
Yes well picking up the phone and stonewalling is easy. Common that’s easy. Is there a challenge here at all? 
2. Primary Match Day Organiser (sponsorship)
Discussed that before but if they need entertainment I can look up the yellow pages and find strippers and other entertainers. 
3. Assist in co-ordination of Club’s marketing activities
4. Responsible for all general administration correspondence for sponsorship and internal contact for RFC staff
Doesn’t the club have secretary’s running around? I am good at delegation! I really am! 5. Assist with generation of sponsorship proposals, report writing and
sponsor leads
Reports are easy. As for sponsor leads – just make them up as I go along I reckon! KEY PERFORMANCE INDICATORS:
1. Timely service delivery of contractual deliverables to all sponsors
Of course I will 2. Ability to build and maintain relationships with key stakeholders and suppliers
Does this mean that I just have to get one or two players to acknowledge the existence at functions and they’ll be happy for the year! 2 functions a year should just about see us out! The things clubs do to get money from sponsors, politicians, and suppliers etc. 3. Timely and effective administration support
Well I would hope so! I’d be disappointed if the admin staff didn’t do a good job for the Sponsorship and Marketing Co-ordinator. Now where is that work people! 4. Ability to meet sponsorship deadlines and produce quality presentations.
Deadlines are easy! Quality Presentations are like Pizza – same crap different toppings. Just change the names and the dates and away you go! ESSENTIAL QUALIFICATIONS AND EXPERIENCE:
1. Excellent written and verbal communication skills
Yes well I usually start sentences without capital letters! I wonder if that would hurt my application! 
2. Ability to develop and maintain strong working relationships with internal and external stakeholders
Avoidance of working with others will ensure a happy workplace! No open door policy here! Proficient in Microsoft Office applications
Does the receptionist know how to mail merge? 
4. Highly motivated and driven towards delivering exceptional client service
For the right salary anything is possible 5. Demonstrated ability to meet deadlines, work as part of a team and autonomously
I can meet deadlines, and work autonomously. I can prove it too! I started an internet operation and closed it in 7 months- met the deadline with distinction right there IMHO. I was working on my own when this conglomeration known as Tariffs was going under! 6. Highly organised, ability to think analytically and generate ideas.
Yes! Yes! Yes! If you want ideas go to OER – Boy have I put up some doozies over the years! DESIRABLE EXPERIENCE:
1. A Bachelor’s Degree in Marketing, Sport Management or equivalent preferred
Bachelors Degree – Yep got one of those 2. 1-2 years previous experience in the sports marketing industry
Does posting on OER for 7 years count? 3. A proven understanding of sport marketing, sponsorship and the AFL.
Of course I understand – and besides how hard can it be … oh hang on its nearly February and we ain’t got no major sponsors! 
I look forward to my new career
