Don't mess with finals-starved Tigers Cheryl Critchley
From: Herald Sun
September 22, 2012 MEMO to fans of the teams who make this year's AFL Grand Final: If you haven't been to a game all year please resist the urge to gloat.
There is nothing worse for finals-starved fans than so-called supporters who couldn't name their team's captain suddenly becoming life-long devotees when they make the finals.
They upload club logos as their Facebook profile picture and dig out flea-ridden jumpers that haven't seen the light of day since Dermott Brereton had curly hair.
It's enough to make you weep.
Those of us who have been to almost every game - and watched their team lose to Gold Coast - will not take kindly to your exploits. In fact we'll probably want to strangle you with our well-worn scarves.
September is a sad month for those who don't make the finals, and especially for us Tiger supporters, whose team has not been part of the action since 2001.
Despite attending about 400 games between them, my kids, now aged 13, 11, and 9, have never seen their team in a final let alone a Grand Final.
The oldest was two in 2001, so remembers nothing.
She's now threatening to barrack for the Suns, reasoning that they're going to make the finals before her team.
And she's probably right.
But we never give up.
Each year we keep September free until the last minute, just in case, resisting the urge to plan a weekend away or overseas jaunt until our team is mathematically out of finals contention.
Sometimes this is after Round 3, after which you'll see us muttering "there's always next year".
Then, just when we're resigning ourselves to another six long months without a footy fix, it starts. The finals. You can't turn on a radio without being reminded our team has failed again and everyone you meet wants to talk about their team's chances.
There's no escaping it.
Richmond cheer squad chairman Gerard Egan, who keeps September free until it's mathematically impossible to make the finals, says work colleagues he hasn't heard a peep from all year suddenly pipe up.
They start talking about football, he opines.
They have no idea what they're talking about.
I have to bite my tongue because, if I don't, I'm liable to say something I'm going to regret.
Egan consoles himself with the fact that Jack Riewoldt won this year's Coleman Medal, and is looking forward to Monday, when we get a Brownlow with Trent Cotchin.
Sad, isn't it?
Other friends avoid sad Septembers by warning their children off following the Tigers.
"My seven-year-old told me she was thinking of being a Tigers supporter," says one.
" I told her no on the grounds that it is a world of pain.
"She now goes for Collingwood."
My cousin Kate sums up the pain she has felt since I brainwashed her to follow the Tigers soon after Richmond won its last Grand Final, in 1980.
One of her few finals experiences was losing the 1995 preliminary final to Geelong by 10 goals.
"I was only seven in 1980 and remember watching and being excited, but never thought we wouldn't have another one 32 years later," she says.
"I'm not sure I can inflict that on my son."
On the plus side, we Richmond fans don't have to stress about the exorbitant cost of Grand Final tickets, selling our souls to get one or September wedding invitations.
Back in 2001, when Richmond last made the finals, we almost had convulsions when an invitation arrived to a friend's wedding - on preliminary final weekend.
As I predicted as soon as it arrived, Richmond made it.
Thankfully, we played Brisbane in Brisbane, because if the game had been in Melbourne we would have gone to the footy and probably lost a friend.
My husband and I ended up listening to the game on our radios, occasionally sneaking out to watch the bar TVs. Not that it mattered; we lost by 10 goals.
This year, when we were invited to my son's teacher's wedding on preliminary final weekend, we had no hesitation in accepting.
And when the AFL decided to start the Hawthorn-Adelaide game at 5.15pm, 15 minutes after the wedding begins, we didn't bat an eyelid.
But Hawthorn fans would have had palpitations when they found out their game was going to clash with the wedding.
See, it's not all bad.
Cheryl Critchley is a freelance writer http://www.heraldsun.com.au/opinion/dont-mess-with-finals-starved-tigers/story-e6frfhqf-1226479092686
