Learning the hard way
Ben Cousins | June 13, 2009
FROM the moment I walked in the door as a 17-year-old to the day I unfortunately and sadly departed the West Coast Eagles, my time there gave me wonderful memories and friends, as well as the well-documented problems.
There are so many stories, games and moments washed with periods of exhilaration and frustration.
My career at West Coast revolved around always giving everything for the team.
I was brought up with the philosophy that in team sport you should never leave anything on the field.
When I look back, perhaps that manifested itself from the way I played the game to the way I lived my life.
That said, my greatest and overwhelming memory of West Coast is that when I ran out on to the ground and looked around, I had supreme confidence in the blokes I played with, and in myself.
The energy of the impending confrontation would course through my veins. That was one of my addictions.
I hope my hyper-focus was evident on the field because that's how I played and tried to take that to a new level when I led the side.
I don't look back with any bitterness towards the club for the way it ended, but I wish it could have been different.
I accept that I was somebody who had to learn life's lessons the hard way and my final day as a West Coast player is still etched in my memory. That was October '07 and from then to now, life has moved quickly.
I was lucky at West Coast to have had two coaches of the great character of Mick Malthouse and John Worsfold.
Mick was my first coach and a hard taskmaster. I'm certain my career was greatly enhanced by four years with him.
When he left West Coast he gave me a handwritten letter that was full of advice and encouragement for my future. I could not have asked for a better coach and person to start my career.
In due course, John became my coach and he was enormous to me.
I have nothing but good things to say about John and -- through the good and bad -- he has been a big support and a bigger friend.
We've had discussions since I left and sometimes I wonder what John thinks about what happened. Maybe through some misunderstandings, maybe he thinks I let him down. Maybe sometimes I did.
But he knows that every time I ran out representing myself, him and the club, I gave absolutely everything I had.
For me, it was all about what happened on game day and getting ready for the game. It was about performing at a sustained level of fierce desire and want. To never say die. To never, ever think "what if".
And when it all came crashing down, it was the same theme. The parallels were enormous.
John and I have spoken about it. And I hope he understands.
When John walked back in the door at West Coast in 2002, he represented all the greatness of times past.
To work closely with John and see a side transform and build to a point where we got that supreme confidence was, to me, what footy is all about.
We were a very talented side, but talent doesn't give you supreme confidence. It's the reliability of knowing blokes will rock in every week and work hard. And when that happens the talent comes into play. But what comes first -- the talent or the hard work?
I spent a year out of the game. I'm now playing for Richmond, and West Coast is a different team to the one I left.
There's still familiarity, but there's a whole new generation coming through and they are moving in the right direction.
Today I will never forget the support I had from West Coast members and fans. Deep down I hope they remember the good times as well as the bad.
Tonight's game is significant, no doubt, but Round 22 over there looms as an important date, too.
Questions about West Coast have dogged me all week.
But I believe too much reflection causes complacency. Doesn't it?
I try not to look back. The way the game was instilled in me, I am always looking to improve.
Still, I grew up at that footy club -- some would argue I didn't -- and no one can escape the past.
When I look back as a player I think of three phases.
The first was when I came to the club and caught the tail end of that great era that produced the 1992 and 1994 premiership teams.
From the age of 17 to 21, it was a privilege to play with Mainwaring, Worsfold, McKenna, Matera, Kemp, Head, Lewis, Tony Evans. The list goes on.
I played in finals and my football experience at that time for me was invaluable and exciting.
On the back of that, as an emerging player, I reluctantly took on a leadership role at a club that was struggling. A treasured memory I have at West Coast is sharing the captaincy with Dean Kemp.
Footballers and blokes don't come any better than him.
We were young, rebuilding and on the end of frequent beltings.
As part of my overall football experience, it taught me plenty. Good sides don't just arrive, don't suddenly wake up and perform.
To go through those hard years and to play a role in the development of that side and see it rebuild into a powerhouse was satisfying.
The premiership, of course, was the pinnacle.
The Grand Final loss the year before, when I was 27, was shattering.
It had taken me a decade to make the final day and we lost it. It was one or two points at the end, I really don't know, I've never watched the game.
I was gutted. I knew we weren't guaranteed to make it the next year because the game is too cut-throat and I thought the loss might've been the closest we got to the ultimate.
In no way did winning the Grand Final the next year make me complacent, but as I look back, with everything that has happened, it would have haunted me if we hadn't won one.
It was always going to be a tough year, to back up after the Grand Final loss, and when the indiscretions came along, such as losing the captaincy, it created even more motivation for me. Indeed, It drove me all year.
When I think about West Coast I don't think about losing the captaincy. If it's mentioned, I think, 'Oh, yeah that happened'. I know that might appear unusual but that's how it is.
The premiership gave me, and the blokes, enormous satisfaction.
No matter how high profile some players were, we knew each player was as important as the next. We had the brilliance of Judd, Kerr and Cox, some of the acts of Daniel Chick in the Grand Final were game-changing, as were some of the hardness and spoils of Beau Waters.
There was Adam Hunter, Andrew Embley, Tyson Stenglein, Wirrpanda and an overall honest work rate from everyone.
At the presentation, John called me up to join him and Juddy on the podium and I enjoyed every second of it.
Yeah, I lost the captaincy and Juddy was up there as skipper, but it did not worry me. We had just won a flag and I was stoked and as happy as I've been in my life. And not just me. All the players and officials and fans.
The fans continue to be fantastic and I find their support humbling. I can't begin to say what it means to me. I worked my guts out for that club and I got it in return.
It's been well documented it was a transitional period of my life and, to be honest, I reckon a lot of fans will probably blink and say, 'Gee, Cousins is playing at Richmond, doesn't life move quickly'. That's how life happens.
Overall, I hope people look back and think the good outweighed the bad at West Coast.
Tonight, my journey continues, as does theirs.
They are moving in the right direction and, hopefully, the same can be said of me.
http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/sport/afl/story/0,26576,25627587-19742,00.html
