Mick Malthouse goes to a football reunion at Richmond and starts chatting with Damien Hardwick.
Damien says to Mick, “Well Mick, I don’t know what you think of your players at Collingwood, but mine here are all bright and brilliant.”
“How do you know?” asks Mick.
“Oh well, it’s simple”, says Damien. “We put them through a special intelligence test before they can play here. Just pick any of my players and we will see how well he does.”
Mick thinks for a while and then nominates Dustin Martin.
Damien calls him over and asks him,” Tell me Dusty, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?”
“ Ah, that’s simple Dima,” says Dusty, “it’s me”.
“Well done Dusty”, says ,Damien and Mick is very impressed.
Mick returns to Collingwood and wonders about the intelligence of the team.
He calls in Dane Swan and asks,” Dane , tell me, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?”
Dane thinks and thinks and doesn’t know the answer. “Can I think about it a bit more Mick, and I’ll give you an answer tomorrow?”
“ Of course,” says Mick, “you’ve got 24 hours. But it is very important that you come up with the answer.”
Dane goes away, thinks as hard as he can, and then he calls in his teammates. Pendlebury thought it might be his Grandpa but wasn’t sure.
Tarrant was certain that it couldn’t be anyone.
Andrew Krakouer admitted he was sacked from Richmond for not knowing. Cloke also owned up to failing the test while trying to get a position at Punt Rd.
Nick Maxwell thought it could be a cousin in Italy who had been adopted as a child.
The rest of the team wouldn’t even hazard a guess.Darren Jolly went into the foetal position.
20 hours later, Dane is very worried that he still has no answer with only 4 hours to go. Eventually Dane says” I know, I’ll ring James Hird! He’s clever, he’ll know the answer.”
He calls James. “Hirdy,” he says, “tell me, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not you brother and is not your sister?”
“ Very simple,” says James, “it’s me!”
“ Of course!” says Dane and immediately rings Mick.
“ Mick,” says Dane, “ I’ve got the answer: it’s James Hird.”
“ No, you idiot,” says Mick. “It’s Dustin Martin.”
