Copied from tiger-talk - bloody funny!
And the award goes to...
Cameron Noakes | September 11, 2009
FOR A record third time, Carlton has won the "Most Lame Appeal of a
Player's Suspension" trophy in the annual Mongrel Punter Football Awards
held last night. Carlton dominated the awards, also winning the "Most
Up-itself Football Club", the "Most Misguided Advertising Campaign", and
the "Most in-your-face Flirtation of the Salary Cap Rule" medals.
But it was the "Most Lame Appeal of a Player's Suspension" award that
had the crowd on its feet, the gong acknowledging the club's effort to
explain why Chris Judd's fingers were fiddling with Michael
Rischitelli's face.
The prestigious "It's All About Me" medal was won by ex-coach Terry
Wallace, while the club he divorced, Richmond, took home the "Most
Deflating Season of All Time" gong — the Tigers winning this trophy a
record ninth time. Richmond polled 29 votes, just edging out
Hawthorn, but the reigning premier did not miss out on the action,
taking home the "Crankiest Club" award and the "Most Annoying President"
medal.
Collingwood won the "Most Hypocritical Club" cup for its incessant
complaints about "fairness", despite the fact St Kilda just played its
"home final" against the Magpies on Collingwood's home ground.
The West Australian clubs were also acknowledged, with West Coast
winning the "Best Botched Attempt at Tanking" category in a canter,
while Fremantle seems to have a stranglehold on the "Most Dangerous Team
to Finish in the Bottom Three" award, winning it for a second
consecutive year.
Port Adelaide won "Best New Jumper but now it's Time to Ditch the Other
Crappy Ones"; Sydney captain Brett Kirk saluted in the "Most Improved
Buddhist" award and Western Bulldog Will Minson scored the "Best Angry
Ruckman with Classical Music Knowledge" trophy.
In the highly anticipated "Geekiest Clapper at a Sporting Event"
category, Prime Minister Kevin Rudd took the gong with the
uncoordinated-but-rhythmic applause he performed at the Brisbane
Lions-Carlton elimination final.
John Howard has held a monopoly on this award for the past decade, which
raises the question: why can't prime ministers clap like normal people?
The Age scooped the pool in Mongrel Punter's AFL media gongs, with "Best
Comedy" going to Leaping Larry; "Most References to Tasmania or
Tasmanians" won by Martin Flanagan; and Jake Niall took home the first
"Best Use of the word 'Metastasise' in a Sports Story" medal for his
opinion piece at the start of the year on Ben Cousins.
To visit Mongrel Punter's website or contact Dr Mongrel, go to
www.mongrelpunter.com.auhttp://sports.groups.yahoo.com/group/tiger-talk/message/92300
