Adelaide- Australia Club that has colours from all states in red yellow and navy blue and which represents all that is good and bad about our nation. Competitive just like the Aussie spirit succesful given our geographical isolation able to rebuild quickly regardless of regime or government yet its supporters are as caring to their own as they are racist to outsiders in exactly the same way. Full chested like the bonds singlet logo.
Brisbane- Netherlands Gifted country with a very laidback system of life but can easily be influenced by bigger brother. The seeds of success were already planted years ago and now any success would merely be a credit to their system rather than a credit to those who run the overall system. Non offensive to anyone and if anything when they are on song are one of the very few teams who play the game in the way the game should be played.
Carlton- Mexico or Colombia. Lawless countries where the criminals rule and places where the rules are made up as you go. FInancially backed with dirty money known as Vi$y contracts where it is known that money has changed hands in brown lunch bags used normally to pack kiddies school lunches in. Yet those on the inside have no regard of the rules nor want to accept any imprppriety or responsibility for their actions of misappropriation.
Collingwood- USA It's our God given right to what we want when we want it and how we want to. If anyone has any objection we will crush them like bugs. We set agenda to suit us and we are always right. AFL is really a laymans term for Collingwood Football League and cohorts.
Essendon- Great Britain Was once great and was once powerful but now living on past glories. Fortunate that some things like Anzac Day footy were made when they were relevant as without it now they just would be another average footy side. Now who was the last British WImbledon champion.
Fremantle- South Africa Once upon a time so politically wrong but now just an accepted member of
multicultural footy life with a guernsy that is as different as the South African flag itself.
Gold Coast- Belgium No matter what happens here the standard of living will be high and the success will only be an afterthought for the time being. When real questions will need to be asked they can always fall back on the big kitty provided to them by Big Brother to help maintain their high standard of living for very little return.
GWS- Bosnia and Herzegovina Regardless of what happens here Bigger Brother the AFL will always ensure that this franchise will have the finacial and military help it needs to survive.
Hawthorn- Germany When they were being shot down because they reared their ugly heads years ago the mistake they made to let them live under certain conditions rather than let them survuve under certain conditions. Now whose laughing. They have influence and respect whether we like it or not, write up agenda that suits them as it is presented in a non confronting where when realisation hits and you see their real intentions you see how smart efficient and oh so deadly they are. Adaptable to reunification with Tassie as East was with West 20 odd years ago and able to maintain a stable source of income where their agenda and policy will always be heard.
Melbourne- Austria Was once an important player but nowadays just a happy stopover for those who like skiing and winter sports as well as some perverted butt naked frolic in a wood cabin with a glass of wine and an open fire whether with the family or some other voyeuristic individual.
North Melbourne- Ethiopia Starving resourceless Penniless and everyones joke of a club yet has a knack of developing competitors of long distance calibre that are world class despite these shortcomings that rally put to shame of its more better credentialled and resourced competitors.
Port Adelaide- Kazakhstan If Borat played for Port it would be a match made in heaven as until we found out about Borat we really didn't know much about life in Kazakstan. Pretty much how many of us like it. Very few have ventured there and even fewer have come back without the place having had some sort of negative impact on them.
Richmond- Greece Once upon a time a long long time ago they were the centre of the universe. Culturally superior, Politically superior, Militarily superior. Now regardless of the financial handouts being given the years and years of mismanagement have proven to hard habits to break and the club is lamentably still inept until all these past sins are finally put to rest.
St Kilda- They are like New Zealand in cricket. Could lose in one game by 10 wickets to Bangladesh only to come out against Australia with exactly the same side and show why they are better than us currently regardless of past history and blow us away with one or two no namers leading the charge. See Lou Vincent or Chris Pringle.
Sydney- Sweden. They just categorically show how much better their structures policies and directives are compared to more traditional systems. Models of consistency that show that their standard of living is far superior than others and why they are world leaders without trying harder than some more better credentialled opponents due to their belief in the shemselves and the systems that have been implemented for them.
West Coast Eagles- Switzerland Have the money to spend and the resources to develop their own as well as having the money to give them the capacity to lure the brightest and best and keep them there due to their geographic location and picturesque climate. Their geographic isolation and neutrality make them a dangerous and worthy opponent at any point in time.
Western Bulldogs- Chile Third world country where education and success rate is alot lower than average and the culture is either littered with Power Hungry Corporals who rid the club of what little character it has as well as being geographically located in such a way where natural disasters occur regularly also.
