Got this via email today
Mad Monday 2012
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We're going to ditch Dimma's blueprint for Mad Monday: there's nothing blue about it.
Troy Chaplin missed the flight back to Adelaide and has asked if he can join us.
Posty's tweeted to say he's going to be late. He's lost.
We're off to another disappointing start in Carlton.
Cops are coming from everywhere! Someone's been knifed in Royal Parade!
The cops say that "the Carlton backstabber" is a tall man with a mullet. They say there aren’t many fitting that description: he’s most likely a refugee from South Australia.
Ivan hasn’t looked this worried since he ran into some Serbs at the tennis. He’s slipped out the back.
Who would have guessed that Tucky has a TAFE certificate in hairdressing? Bye Bye mullet! But Tucky's left a stupid bit dangling at the back.
The cops have left, but they’ve put an unroadworthy sticker on Gus' bus.
With no transport now it looks like we're gonna be *smile*ed twice over in Carlton this year.
Where's Dusty? Has he slept in again?
Tom Derrickx must be drunk. He keeps spilling his drink.
Grigg's flatulence is really annoying Jack, but you'd think he'd be used to sitting under Grigg’s lager bombs by now.
Big Ben's not much of a drinker. He's already got a headache.
Tom Derrickx needs some help at the buffet. He keeps dropping everything in his bread basket.
Posty's tweeted. He's still lost.
Gus has left after having a brief fight with Ivan. He must be the only person ever released to Coburg.
Dusty's arrived but he’s still half-asleep and is going to sit the next few rounds out.
Who’s the idiot who put the headbanging music on? Big Ben just concussed himself.
Tom Derrickx just dropped his keys down a drain.
Robbie Nahas, Dave Astbury and Trent Cotchin have been cornered by some teenage girls wearing One Direction t-shirts.
Chaplin and Ivan have started a brawl. Can someone tell them they're not in Adelaide anymore?
We're moved to a bar called "The Second Quarter". Heaps of hot women, yet none us of can score.
Tom Derrickx just broke his phone. Dropped it.
Brad Miller's gone home early, although none of us had noticed he was here in the first place.
Nahas needs a hand at the urinal. He sprained his right wrist putting himself away, and he has no left side.
Posty's finally joined us but he still looks lost.
The toilets are a mess. McGuane stepped up to the urinal but shat himself. Twice.
Cotch has gone outside but the place is now full and the bouncers won't let him back in.
Tom Derrickx just dropped his lunch.
Some teenagers from the Gold Coast are challenging our defenders to a sausage roll eating contest. *smile* me. We choked.
It's Dustys turn to shout. Is he pretending to be asleep?
Cotch is still banging on the window, but no one's going outside so he can't come back in.
Posty went to order some tapas but got lost on the way to the bar.
Big Ben just walked into a doorway and hurt his head.
Tom Derrickx just dropped his career in the urinal.
Some beggars from North Melbourne are pestering our midfielders. *smile* me. They picked our pockets!
Posty's found the bar but can't decide what to order.
Has someone messed with Dusty's ringtone or does it always play "Wake Up Jeff"?
Cotch is yelling at Jacko, but Jacko’s ignoring him so he’s still stuck outside.
Some cashed up bogans from Preston have challenged us to a staring contest. *smile* me. We blinked.
Jacko's gone to help Posty decide what to order. This could take a while.
Posty finally has a tray of tapas, but the bar is crowded and he can't pick his way through the congestion. Go forward, not back!
Posty just turned the tray over!
Big Ben's helping Posty clean up the mess, but when he stood up he hit his head against the bar and knocked himself out.
Chaplin's challenging our forwards to a p!ssing contest. *smile* me. It's a draw.
Newie's decided to pack up and leave. Cotch is now back in, but it's too late to make any difference.
Everybody's wasted, just like our season.
