Journey towards acceptance Peter Hanlon
The Age
April 19, 2013 When Ivan Maric was on the trade table in late 2011, he took a call from Bachar Houli, who'd known the same nervous uncertainty of a footballer in limbo a year before. As Houli told him he would be welcomed at Richmond, an unlikely friendship began.
Houli, a devout Muslim, and Maric, a proud Australian, make something of an odd couple bustling about the corridors at Punt Road Oval. Yet they are firm mates, growing as people in step with their broadening knowledge of the other's culture, stories and beliefs.
''I've learnt so much, so much,'' says Maric, admitting his prior understanding didn't extend far beyond knowing Muslims didn't eat pork. A deeper, gentler soul than his appearance might hint, Maric bombarded Houli with questions, and revelled in the answers.
''Straight away we became really close. I was fascinated by the religion. I love it. Some of the things about it … it's made me a better person.''
Socialising with Houli's wife, Rouba, and Maric's fiancee, Erin, their differences came to light, and enlightened them. ''Simple things, like in Australia the tradition of shaking hands and kissing on the cheek as a greeting,'' Houli says. ''For us, we can't do that. I explained to Ivan why, and he respects that.''
The perception of religion as terrorism, as enslaving women, not drinking alcohol or eating certain foods, all were on their dinner table. ''It's amazing, when you sit down and speak with someone and you want to understand, it's amazing what you come out of it with,'' Houli says.
''You see a good individual who's trying to be the best person they can be, you start believing others are like that.''
Maric was no different to any other children of migrants in being brought up as if in a virtual homeland. ''We spoke the language, we ate the food every day. We've both got big families, that's who you socialised with on the weekends, all your cousins. You didn't really bother hanging out with friends from school, you had so many cousins.''
As a child, Houli thought there were only two races - Lebanese and Australian. ''If you weren't Lebanese, whether you were Croatian, Italian, whatever, I just thought you were Aussie.''
Football broadened their spectrum, and made them even prouder of where they're from. Says Maric: ''You start inviting people into your family environment, they're like, 'How good's this? We never had anything like this, the food, all the people …' That's when we realised how special it is, and how lucky we were to have that.''
Houli is one of 10 AFL multicultural officers, and recently discovered that by the league's definition - having at least one parent born overseas - 30 per cent of Richmond's list is deemed multicultural, double the competition average. He saw a strength to be celebrated.
Unprompted, he wrote a document espousing the benefits of a multicultural workplace - be it an office or a football change room - and fired it off to Tigers officials. ''It was just to get the point across that our game has changed, it's become so multicultural, and that people are forgetting the value of that,'' Houli says.
At the club recently, players stood up and told their family stories. Maric's is all the more humbling because he knows it's so typical.
His mother is from a small village in Croatia, Durdenovac, and came to Australia with her 10 siblings because her father had heard of this land of opportunity. Aged 11 and with one too many mouths to feed, Maric's grandfather was sent to work on a farm. ''It wasn't far from his home, but he was never allowed to visit his family.''
His father, from Komletinci, found work wherever and doing whatever he could, eventually came to Melbourne, and through the strong Croatian community in St Albans met Ivan's mother. A couple of years ago, the family went back for the first time. The experience moved Maric deeply.
''I can't explain it, it was just a special feeling,'' he says, recalling men who were children when his father lived there telling him how he'd looked after them, put them on his scooter and taken them for rides around the village.
''It makes you feel good about your father, your mum, where you're from. When I came back I wanted to be more of an Australian Croatian then ever before, I was so proud.''
He thinks conversations about refugees too often lack empathy. ''They're taking huge risks, and people don't understand why.'' He finds people's journeys interesting.
Houli isn't wasting his foot in the door at headquarters, or the powerful ears he has there. He appreciates what the AFL is doing with its annual multicultural round, but has told ''the boss'', as he calls Andrew Demetriou, it could be so much better.
His grand plan is a celebration of food, dances, religions, turning AFL grounds into festival sites for one weekend a year.
''We've got to take the next step, where people are going to enjoy this round and can't wait for it,'' Houli said.
At the root of their friendship is acceptance, a quality Houli is convinced will make the game even stronger.
''We want people to accept others from different cultures and just get on with it. It's a game of football, a game where you can bring people together. And it's heading in the right direction.''
Read more:
http://www.theage.com.au/afl/afl-news/journey-towards-acceptance-20130418-2i31p.html#ixzz2Qpy9txbn
