Author Topic: Negative people  (Read 1848 times)

Offline Penelope

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Negative people
« on: August 16, 2013, 05:40:10 PM »
#Couldnt find a dedicated jokes thread or board, but had to share this email i received#

Don't people who are constantly negative just poo ya?

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A woman was at  her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip  to Rome with her  husband.. 

 She  mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who  responded:  " Rome?  Why would anyone want to go  there? It's  crowded and dirty. You're  crazy to go to Rome.  So,  how are you getting there?"

 "We're taking  Continental," was the reply. "We  got a great rate!"  

 "Continental?"  exclaimed the hairdresser. "  That's a terrible airline. Their  planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're  always  late. So,  where are you staying in Rome  ?"

"We'll be at  this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste." 

 "Don't go  any further. I know that place.  Everybody  thinks its gonna be  something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to  see the  Pope."

"That's rich," laughed  the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll  look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours.  You're  going to need it."

A  month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo.  The  hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome .  

"It was  wonderful," explained the woman, not  only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes,   but it  was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The  food and wine were wonderful, and I  had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot..   And the hotel was great! They'd  just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a  jewel, the  finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!" 

 "Well," muttered the hairdresser,  "that's  all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the  Pope." 

 "Actually, we  were quite lucky, because as we toured the  Vatican, a  Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope  likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as  to step  into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.   Sure enough, five minutes later, the  Pope walked through the door and shook my hand!I  knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.."

"Oh, really!  What'd he say ?" 

 "Who stuffed up your hair?"
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways my ways,” says the Lord.
 
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are my ways higher than your ways,
And my thoughts than your thoughts."

Yahweh? or the great Clawski?

yaw rehto eht dellorcs ti fi daer ot reisae eb dluow tI

Gigantor

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Re: Negative people
« Reply #1 on: August 16, 2013, 05:54:08 PM »
cheers Al..very funny

Offline Yeahright

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Re: Negative people
« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2013, 12:22:17 AM »
tl;dr

Offline (•))(©™

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Re: Negative people
« Reply #3 on: August 29, 2013, 08:01:54 PM »
I'm not negative, i just hate everything
Caracella and Balmey.

Offline Loui Tufga

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Re: Negative people
« Reply #4 on: August 29, 2013, 08:03:30 PM »
I'm not negative, i just hate everything

You lie!! I seen you voted for the dog earlier  :shh

Offline Yeahright

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Re: Negative people
« Reply #5 on: September 25, 2013, 08:44:47 PM »
Anyone heard from that Ruinedbandaid that cracked it after the Carlton loss?

Offline Loui Tufga

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Re: Negative people
« Reply #6 on: September 25, 2013, 08:56:50 PM »
Anyone heard from that Ruinedbandaid that cracked it after the Carlton loss?

Negative :huh

Offline Chuck17

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Re: Negative people
« Reply #7 on: September 26, 2013, 07:36:55 AM »
Anyone heard from that Ruinedbandaid that cracked it after the Carlton loss?

Nah what a toss he/she was