Had a ball last night when a scammer (Kent Williams
) from "Windows Technical Dept support group" called to inform me that my computer was severely affected with Malware and viruses and he needed to fix it for me. As a security specialist by trade, I am fully aware of what these guys are up to so I decided to have a little fun with him and see how far I could go before they hung up. I initially questioned him on the differences between malware and viruses and my call immediately got escalated to a team leader. I then quizzed him on several topics including him telling me what IP address he was detecting the viruses and malware on. He then realised that I needed to be escalated and asked if I would like to speak to...Get this..."The International Villager"
I then asked him what was an international villager but he didn't answer and just kept asking me if I wanted to speak to him. He became frustrated with me (score!!) and then said "I just spoke to the International villager and he said he couldn't be bothered talking to me!" I then said "Awwww so I can't speak to the International Villager?" to which he replied.."Okay I'll put you through"
I then got to speak to the "International Villager"!! YAY!!!
He answered with "Gidday Mate!" in a really bad Indian attempt at an Aussie accent"
He said he was not only the International Villager but also the top fully qualified technician. I then proceeded to ask him if he was fully Microsoft certified and he said yes. I then asked him which Microsoft certification he had and I helped him out by rolling off a few and mixed in a few acronyms that mean absolutely nothing. He chose "ATO".
For any of you who are not aware of Microsoft certifications, ATO is not one of them.
He then proceeded to puff up his chest further and stated than not only was he a Microsoft ATO, but he was also a PHD!!!
I then said "Really??? A PHD in what??" He said a PHD in Microsoft applications!!!!!! ROLFMAOOOOOO I then asked him which University did he get his degree at and he said it was the "Canberran University".
He then said "Why do you question me so much?" and became really peed off and thats when the insults started...Yes the classic "guy" insults like "You effing guy" and "You lie to me Guy"
All I could think of was the Tom Green "You kicked my Dog" prank call.
He continued on with his insults "Eff you Guy" and "You Effing Yellow Man!". I then did my best Popeye laugh and said "I love my life, I live in a big house on a large leafy green block, I have a nice car and Box seats at the Cricket where I drink, eat and generally have a ball whenever I feel like it" and I then said..."So how does this compare to your life?" To which he finally responded with calling me an "effing yellow guy and eff you!!" I then said "Bye bye now" several times in my best Jim Carry voice and he then hung up infuriated! 25 minutes I kept them on the line and they got nothing but frustration!
