-Shaun "Not Tackling, Waving" Grigg , aka The Pointer Sister - In the immortal words of Basil Fawlty....You still here?
-Shank "Unforced" Edwards aka Calamity Shane - Don't worry, next decade will be his breakout decade.
-Chris "What, me hurry?" E. Newman aka Captain Default - Goodwill is a charity in the United States, AFL is not.
-Bachar "We sure showed dem Bummers lol" Houli aka the Prophet of Panic - If only he'd show just a tenth of the courage on the football field he'd probably show on a "humanitarian mission" to Damascus.
-Brandon "What the stuff was" Ellis.... aka Brandumb - Don't let the AFL's stupid schedule fool ya son, football's not fortnightly proposition this year, don't you start becoming "enigmatic" on us too now - we've had enough of that.
Tyrone "Turn up when I feel like it" Vickery aka Nepotism Vick........see Brandon, this is the cautionary tale I refer to.