Then follow this guy's lead 
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A BAIRNSDALE electrician talked his way past strict security to rub shoulders with some of Australia's biggest stars at the Logies.
Serial gatecrasher "Alfie" dressed up in his best dinner suit and made the three-hour drive to Melbourne for television's night of nights.
"I sat down next to Kate Ritchie and Magda Szubanski and chatted to them," Alfie said.
"Rove was really friendly and so was Rhonda Burchmore. I even had my photo taken holding the Logie won by the Choir of Hard Knocks."
When Ritchie won the Gold Logie, Alfie was sitting in prime position at the table closest to the stage.
After the ceremony he partied with the team from Channel 9 until 6am.
The father of two said he knew that he was sneaking into areas where he shouldn't be but "it was all in good fun".
"I am 49 and my kids keep telling me to grow up, but I enjoy the challenge too much," he said.
The Logies are not Alfie's only conquest -- he has talked his way into three Brownlow Medal nights and numerous other sporting events.
Alfie was reluctant to reveal how he sneaks into high profile events, but said confidence was the key.
"I don't want to give away my trade secrets," he said.
"But you have to look like youshould be there. I have got the gift of the gab, I can talk my way in anywhere.
"And free beer always tastes so much sweeter."
Alfie often attends football media conferences and prides himself on asking the hard questions, claiming to be a reporter from the Bairnsdale Bulletin (which doesn't exist).
"I think I drank from every premiership cup between the early '90s and 2000," he said.
"Whenever I go to the football I get into the winning team rooms and sing the theme song in the team circle.
"Once I stood in the team line-up of North Melbourne at the MCG. On the replay, the cameras panned down all of the boys in uniform and at the end of the line was me in a green jumper."
A Western Bulldogs fan, he attended the Team of the Century dinner and was immortalised in the team photo.
He makes it into the exclusive Paddock Club at the Grand Prix year after year.
Next on his list is the Birdcage on Melbourne Cup day.
http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,23662636-661,00.html
