I am shattered: Ben Cousins
Ben Cousins | March 26, 2009
I AM shattered, but I've been through worse.
My hamstring tear could sideline me for two weeks, four weeks, six weeks, and once again I am in rehab, but my season is not over. It will test me unquestionably, but I've had a big 12 months and I know fairytales don't always happen.
The injury hurts me, but I am desperate to have impact at the Tigers to repay the faith. And the sooner that happens the better.
So, from that point of view, I'm gutted but this is an opportunity for me now to show value to this footy club off the field.
It's character building, it's in your face, but I intend to hit it head-on. I have to.
I'm genuinely a positive person and I do know I've spoken to countless young blokes who don't get picked for the first game of the season and tell them, mate, it's a long year, and if you can make an impact you will walk away satisfied.
What a night. It would be easy to focus on how I'm feeling and obviously I'm disappointed, but I need to approach this the same way I'd expect a younger player - or any player for that matter.
That is to get on with it and throw myself into rehab - that bloody word again - and be positive.
I know I'll think in the next few days what I could've done differently and try to find some meaning from it.
But what I do know is that from setbacks like this come positives.
What they will be, I'm not quite sure at the moment.
As I speak, it's close to midnight and I've just had 45 minutes work on my left hamstring and am still in the Richmond rooms.
All in all, it wasn't a great night for me or the Tigers.
The team as a whole is terribly disappointed with our performance and we need to regroup as quickly as possible and confront next week with a different mindset. It can be done.
We are confident it came be done.
In many respects it's been a long 18 months, and in other ways it has gone quickly.
It's all been a little surreal.
If I can indulge, it was beyond my imagination to have played in front of nearly 90,000 at the MCG last night.
Many of those were Richmond supporters and I can't describe in the right words the support I have received from the Tiger supporters.
I never thought it was possible to feel at ease as much as I have.
I enjoyed a great career at West Coast and have had fantastic support from Western Australian people, but what I did in the past counts for nothing at Richmond.
I now look forward to earning the respect of my teammates, on and off the field.
I understand, and will be eternally grateful, that the playing group was quite influential in getting me to Richmond and welcomed me back.
I respected and admired the senior players from when I was playing at West Coast, blokes such as Richo, Browny, Kane Johnson, Chris Newman, Joel Bowden and `Snake' (Troy Simmonds).
And I have been looking forward to the opportunity to play alongside them.
And Nathan Foley, too. Many people won't know this, but I was paired with him for the pre-season as training partner and he not only set the benchmark for me but for the whole group. He's a ripper.
Respect, though, will come from playing, sweating and bleeding on the pitch, all of which started last night.
It's been a hell of a journey.
Now on reflection, I think about the journey and an interview I did with Garry Lyon mid-year last year.
He asked me why should a club pick me. I answered, to much criticism: `Why shouldn't a club pick me?'
I answered in a purely football sense which I thought I was entitled to do, thinking that serving my 12 months' ban was enough.
To be honest, it's been a lesson in humility, self doubt and straight talking that took me from that time to abject despair in November.
This was no more evident than in the National Draft when 80 kids who had never played AFL footy were picked up and I wasn't.
After dusting myself off and having conversations with Gerard Healy and Kevin Sheedy, I realised I had a fair bit to do to convince a club to pick me up.
The end result was I was the last player in the last draft when picked up by the Tigers.
It was a humbling experience for a player who has played as much footy as I had.
Simply running out last night was an enormous thrill .. as it will be next time I come back!
http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/sport/afl/story/0,26576,25249419-19742,00.html
