LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
A nun gets into a cab and the driver keeps staring at her through the rear view mirror. "You know, Sister," the cab driver says, "I hope you aren't too offended, but I've always had this fantasy of getting a blowjob from a nun."
The nun thinks for a moment and says, "I'm not too offended. I just have two requirements. One, that you be single, and two, that you be Catholic."
"Oh yes, Sister, I am single and Catholic," the cab drive replies, so they pull into an alley and the nun proceeds to satisfy the cab driver orally. After they're done, the cab driver begins laughing.
"What's so funny?" the nun asks. "Ha ha!" the cab driver annnounces, "I fooled you sister. The truth is I'm really married and I'm Jewish!"
"That's okay," the nun replies, "My name is Bob and I'm on my way to a fancy dress party."
Q: How did the Polish mother teach her son which way to put his underwear on?
A: Yellow in the front, Brown in the back!
Q: How are a hockey goalie and a Polish woman alike?
A: They both change their pads after 3 periods.
Q: Why did the kiwi cross the road?
A: He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.
Q: How do you break a Jew's finger?
A: Hit him on the nose.
Q: What would you call a bloodthirsty Jew on a rampage?
A: Genghis Cohen
Q: Hear about the new movie that's frightening Jewish women?
A: It's called, "Debby Does Dishes."
Q: How did the Jewish kid verbally abuse his playmates?
A: 'Your mother pays retail!""
Q: What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails so long and beautiful?
A: Nothing, nothing at all
Q: Define: Genius:
A: A "C" student with a Jewish mother.
Q: What's the last thing Geez heard?
A: Cross your legs, we've got only three nails.
Three friends - Aboriginal, Jew and Australian, spend each night together drinking beer in an outback pub. One night as they're leaving, a road-train comes through the town and kills all three. The next day, the publican is surprised to see the Australian - who assumed dead - walked through the door. The Australian tells him, "Well, we were all killed, but when we got to the pearly gates, St. Peter said we could come back to earth if we pay him $20."
"Well, obviously, you paid up, but what happened to your friends?"
"The jew's trying to haggle him down to $10, and the aboriginal is trying to convince him that the government will pay for it."
