Fractured fairytales

[tiga]

Hi Guys,

Just thought of something that might be a bit of fun. It's called fractured fairytales.
What we have to do is I'll start the story off and you can all join in. once a person has added a sentence or paragraph (try and leave it open for the next person) you can then continue on and take the story anywhere but it must flow from the previous paragraph.  So lets have a bit of a laugh with this and see where it takes us. We all have a pretty warped sense of humour so it should be good.

Here goes....

Once upon a time there was a princess who lived in a big castle high on top of a Hill.
The castle had big strong gates and really high walls to protect her from the evils that lay outside. Inside the gates her loyal subjects adored her and thrived under her model of a utopian existence. That was until the day a stranger arrived requesting entry. "Halt who goes there?" said the sentry...... 

next please

[Harry]

LMAO - this will be a crack up.

"Ummmm, errrrr, hello" said the stranger shivering under a dark cloak.  "Yeah nah, My name is Danny, Danny Frawley, and I've just been kicked out of home, I would have thought.  Look, the King and his executives thought that I hadn't stepped up to the plate, hadn't dug deep and wasn't good enough to be Mayor of their town.  I tried to stick fat but the cows didn't come home.  So I'm left without any milk, I'm cold and I'm bleeding starving.  Can I come in, I would have thought?"

[JohnF]

"Go back from whenst you came scoundrel!" boomed the voice of the sentry, which startled Danny and made him retreat a couple of steps. Once more gathering his courage, Danny spoke "Yeah, Nah, look, I'm Danny Frawley. I've always been Danny Frawley. If you don't like the Danny Frawley you see in front of you, that's your perogative. I'll defend my honour till the cow comes home. In fact, here she is now." Out of nowhere stepped a podgy, coquettish feminine lady, a beauty from the days of yore, who had since grown large with the assistance of pastry dishes and sweets. "Hi' I'm Anita". She said.

[Ox]

And as God is my witness,at that precise moment in time,the Heavens opened,showering a kings ransom in
potatoes and pavlova.
'Beyond from whence these offerings were conceived,I know not of true dimensions to be spoken of
yet am worthy of thy gifts"
weeped Anita as she gouged her fat face with merange and cream bi-products.

As Danny bowed before the empress of dairy he dispondantly murmered,
"WTF is going on Big Fella ?"
It was then a miracle occured...

[julzqld]

The princess looked out from her turret she spied three horsemen on magnificent steeds riding at great haste towards the castle.  She grabbed the binoculars she happened to have handy and on closer look she saw that the three handsome horsemen were none other than Richo, Simmonds and Rix (sorry guys couldn't help myself ).  She clasped her hands and sighed "my heroes!".  But before the horsemen could reach the castle they had to cross over the bridge where they were met by the evil troll of the bridge - Mike Sheehan.

[cub]

As luck would have it a bolt of lightning shot from the sky and fried Danny and Annita where they stood mid feast. Sensing thier oppurtunity the Evil Troll master summoned his evil trolls from within the dark forest to retrieve the sizzling remains - which would be saved for that nights feast.

The princess realising her moment for love may have finally arrived and with the trolls busily gathering the remains she summoned her guards to open the gate and beckon the three handsome horseman within the confines of the castle - little knowing

[Tiger Spirit]

…that Sheahan was watching her every move.  Unaware, she hurried the three horsemen through the gates and had them escorted out of sight and went to meet them.

Meanwhile, Sheahan busily scribbled notes with his poison pen.  Eager to report what he had seen, he gave orders for the scroll to be taken to the Evil Troll Master (ETM).

“Well, well, well, three holes in the ground” gruffed the ETM.  “The Princess has found 3 saviours has she?
My plot to bring eternal darkness and torture to people everywhere has met with a slight hitch.  That fool has gone and got himself fried.”

“Guard, ride out to the Lexus Castle and hand this note to my evil counterpart over there, whathisname, Maltyhouse or something?”

With an ever present evil look in his eye, he muttered to himself “Those three will be no match for the Maltyhouse fox”.

[tiga]

INTERMISSION

Just a quick note guys... I think it might be a good idea to just post a quick reply with your nick to let people know you are in the process of writing a paragraph. I had one all ready to go this morning only to find that someone had beaten me to the punch. It's no drama, just lets people know that you're about to put one out.
eg as I am in the process of writing one I will post "tiga" to let people know.

 

[tiga]

tiga

[tiga]

Little did the evil powers know that Lord Wallace of Locksley was about to join the other 3 warroirs in a last ditch effort to defeat the evil sheriff Malthouse of rottingwood and ultimately his King, Edward of mediawhore.

After greeting each other and discussing battle plans Sir richo asked Lord Wallace "do we stand a chance?" To which lord wallace replied.
"Yes...Sheriff Malthouse of rottingwood will be easily defeated by us before the first bucket of oranges as long as we fight as a combined force. With his only true warrior, Buckley the Expensive incapacitated, he will be no match for our young but formidable force. I expect Lord Tarrant will offer very little resistence. Now we must head off as time is of the essence. Prepare for battle......

[cub]

cub

[cub]

Meanwhile .... (unknown to either side) at Wilson Castle the evil Queen Caro was putting the finishing touches to her wicked plan.
Mirror Mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all .....
Sorry Queen Caro but the Princess of Punt road castle is still the fairest of them all and until she is disposed of will remain so...

Mirror whispering to itself ( you have to disspose of every women alive to have any chance love) 

To this Queen Caro swung her evil plan into action ..... This will be the end of her and her kingdom wa ha ha ha ha ha ha
The Three Warriors were going to be up against more than they bargained for .......

[Harry]

As the Princess, Lord Wallace of Locksely, and the 3 horsemen were feasting on fried spuds, roast bore and fruity lexia back at the castle on top of the hill, a fax on horse back arrived and delivered some disturbing news.  It detailed a plot devised by Queen Caro to strike from the North while their attention was focussed on an attack from Rottingwood from the South.  “Oh no” Said Lord Wallace.  We’re going to need some assistance, some reinforcements; I’ll have to call in some heavy artillery”.  Lord Wallace reached into his pocket and pulled out a Nokia 3210 carrier pigeon and on a little piece of paper hurriedly scribbled a request for help.  The note was addressed to Greg The Miller, the greatest soldier king Scotland has ever seen.  Lord Wallace wrapped the note around the mobile pigeon’s leg and sent it on its way.   

[mightytiges]

Greg the Miller had been spending his later years in the Court of Hammerhead peacefully by the Glens of Roy, Waverley and Huntly. A noble man from the North he was reknowned across the lands for paying only 3 beans for the services of the young warrior king Carey of Wagga Wagga before his pupil tragically was captured along with his mistress by a legion of archers and banished to the barren and feral lands across the border.
Miller noticed a carrier pigeon sitting on the edge of the window looking over the Glens. He walked over and took the note wrapped around the pigeon's leg. It read ...

[Harry]

Greg the Miller had been spending his later years in the Court of Hammerhead peacefully by the Glens of Roy, Waverley and Huntly. A noble man from the North he was reknowned across the lands for paying only 3 beans for the services of the young warrior king Carey of Wagga Wagga before his pupil tragically was captured along with his mistress by a legion of archers and banished to the barren and feral lands across the border.
Miller noticed a carrier pigeon sitting on the edge of the window looking over the Glens. He walked over and took the note wrapped around the pigeon's leg. It read ...

LMAO - Brilliant.

continue as you were.......