Ask a ruckman
Tony Hardy
The Age
June 4, 2005
David Honybun in the back of Brendon Gale's HQ Kingswood, where he'd lie down to help his back on the long drive to Geelong.
After two taxing careers, David Honybun ignores the glitterati, Tony Hardy writes.David Honybun spilled a mark in front of Tom Hafey at NSW state training one night. The great coach hissed that "anyone over six foot three has no brains".
Sure enough, ex-former Carlton and Richmond ruckman Honybun is now an assistant commissioner of the Australian Taxation Office. His title of chief economist (international strategy and operations) needs two business cards and a spell check. No other ruckman could be more qualified to analyse the issues of the day.
"So, David," I asked, seated in his boardroom high above Spring Street, "what are your thoughts on the rumour that Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie actually hate each other?" Now I understand that two spoilt rich kids is an odd tack to take. But the question came late in the interview, after nearly two hours of his hypothe . . . hypotheseesi . . . of his really smart insights on everything from the future amalgamation of AFL clubs to the GDP of Guatemala.
His career has been one smart move after another. In 1986, his first night of pre-season training with North Melbourne was in 30-degree heat. It began at 5pm and at 7.30, there was a seven-kilometre race. For three hours, coach John Kennedy ruled that no player was allowed a sip of water. To prevent his death, halfway through the seven-kilometre time-trial, David stopped and jumped in the lake where he "paddled around".
"At Carlton, they watered their players" he smiled. He loved his previous three years at the Blues. He trained with legends such as Ashman, Southby, Doull, Buckley and Maclure. His locker was next to "Wow" Jones. "On our first weekend away, I was billeted with Jimmy Buckley. I looked up to Jimmy for reasons I'm not sure of. On the Saturday night, we were watching this country and western band when there was a big crash. Jimmy had thrown Ken Sheldon into a wall. Ken Sheldon was stuck in the wall."
"So anyway, David, Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie were friends but not any more. What do you think?"
David deflected the question. He mused about the difference between "implicit" and "complicit" and then we arrived at his years at Tigerland. It was where I first saw him play.
One afternoon at the MCG, he stopped and lay down for a rest along the half-forward line. He crossed his legs and put his hands behind his head. The footy bounced around him and 30,000 people watched. I was rapt. Other people liked it, too, because a few games later, I was hit in the head by a bun, tossed by a cult of Honybun supporters after he kicked a goal.
David's back collapsed on him at Richmond. His specialist said it was the worst back X-ray he'd ever seen on anybody of any age. For the drive to Kardinia Park, Allan Jeans made him lie in the back of Benny Gale's orange HQ Kingswood station wagon. "We got flogged, anyway. Bryan Leys' job to tag Gary Ablett was routinely unsuccessful. Ablett kicked 10 or 12, which was about his average against Richmond."
David described Richmond in the late '80s and early '90s as "like a country footy club". Things didn't work. They even had a boot sponsor that refused to send boots. "We bought our own boots, then had the bootmaker put the right stripes in," he said.The chief economist of the ATO worries about the future of the game. "We've had an economic boom and clubs are making a loss. What happens at the next recession?"
"I think it was during the last recession that Nicole Ritchie's dad Lionel sang . . . Hello?" I countered.
"Soccer has finally got itself right," he continued. "I don't think it's half the game that Aussie Rules is, but long-term, footy hasn't the right system in place. What if there's no media rights and we're in a recession?"
I took his point. "Speaking of media rights, I only bring up Paris and Nicole because they were on the cover of a women's magazine."
And then, finally, Honybun agreed to point his ruckman's brain towards the issue of the day. "Oh, I don't follow that stuff at all," he said. "I'm not a glitterati person. Most of US television is a non-event, a complete waste of time."
Gee he's smart.
http://www.realfooty.theage.com.au/realfooty/articles/2005/06/03/1117568373041.html
