continue ...HM: Damien Hardwick in a sentence?
TC: A true family man that values more than just his job.
HM: Last year lots of things changed. What were the three pieces you all had to talk of in front of everyone?
TC: A hero, a hardship and a highlight.
HM: Everyone did it. What has it done to the club and the individuals within it?
TC: It’s really hard to explain. We can bring a football player here from another football club and show him the facilities and some really good people, but for them to really understand what we’re so proud of, and what makes our club so great to be a part of, you’d have to live it for months.
HM: It’s different to what it was because you all allowed yourselves to be stripped back?
TC: It is, yeah. I know everyone very differently to before we had the chats. It is like we are all brothers, rather than just football colleagues. It is powerful, and as a result, I just love walking in here in the mornings.
HM: That hasn’t always been the case?
TC: No, it wasn’t, and that was my fault. It comes back to letting the weight of the world sit on your shoulders, because you were expected to win or you were expected to have a good year. Everyone is expecting to have a good year, but what are we actually doing to ensure we give ourselves an opportunity to have a good year? What are we valuing every day that makes us feel good? As you said before, we’re playing a game that people walking past us right now would dream of having one shot at, for one game or one minute.
HM: Just on the learnings from last year: your acceptance of your own vulnerability and others seems to be almost the key pillar of the change. Is that fair?
TC: I wouldn’t say the key pillar, but maybe one of the pillars. The moment I showed up in pre-season, going into 2017, I just laid out how I felt. What I was good at, what I wasn’t good at, what I loved, what I didn’t love. I talk about the weight on the shoulders. That instantly made me relax into life, not just footy. I think it gave guys the power to come forward and speak about the same struggles, or the things that they love, and it just instantly helped with connection. When I was having a coffee with some of the youngest players on the list, I thought I had good relationships with them, but it went from just being teammates to being brothers.
HM: Has your family life strengthened through the process as a result of how you’ve treated yourself and everyone at the club?
TC: Yeah, absolutely. The greatest thing about finding my “why”, in a sense, was just the connection it’s had in all walks of life, not just footy. Every relationship I have is stronger.
HM: Two hundred games last Thursday night. From them, excluding the (2017) grand final, which is the one moment you’ve enjoyed the most?
TC: It would have to be the prelim last year. It was the purest of Richmond football fans that were watching the game at the ’G. Ninety-five per cent of the crowd was on our side. The noise at the end, and the passion, and the joy it gave people to get through to the grand final … it was a feeling that gave me shivers then, and gives me shivers now just talking about it. The other one would be my 150th game running out with Harper, and I can’t wait to do it with both girls this week.
HM: One of the best photos that I have I took on the iPhone. It’s of you with your two daughters on the ground. It was the ultimate. The premiership captain with his family, on the MCG in front of still 80,000 people after the 20,000 crows had disappeared.
TC: I must admit, for a lot of the lap of honour all I wanted to do was see all my girls — not just the kids — on the field, which I was very thankful for in the end. Not everyone got their family on the field, but it was a pretty special moment.
HM: You’re a young husband and a young father. You always wanted to be both from what I gather?
TC: Yeah. You also need to find the right partner for that too! I probably wouldn’t have had kids quite as young if I hadn’t met Brooke, with the love she has for children and family. I wouldn’t change it for the world. While I really enjoyed my wedding, I wish I had had the chance to speak as a more mature person.
HM: What has fatherhood given you that you didn’t think it would?
TC: That’s a tough question. I think I always had pretty high expectations around fatherhood and how much I would love it. There’s a lot more challenges than you think, but lessons that you can’t learn in any other way, I don’t reckon.
HM: Did you think it was possible to love something like you love your kids?
TC: Nope — it is actually hard to describe to people who don’t have kids. You get excited about your mother-in-law or parents having them for a night, and then half an hour after they are gone, you’re missing them! I get upset when Brooke tells me her mum is picking up Harper from kinder, because I want to pick them up!
HM: Will you have more if you can?
TC: Maybe one more. A wise man once told me: “You’ll never regret the kids you do have, but you might regret the ones you don’t.” Maybe we’ll end up with 10! (laughs).
HM: Why did you fall in love with Brooke?
TC: She’s very attractive, but I think her heart is just full of goodness. There’s a lot of detail behind Brooke herself, and I’ll keep that to myself, but she is a unique person. The care she has for people is nothing short of outstanding.
HM: At what stage last year did you think the Tigers could win the premiership?
TC: I was in bed with Brooke, and I reckon it was round six. We lost to Adelaide on a Saturday night, and I remember distinctly saying the words: “I don’t know what it is, but I just have a weird feeling about us as a group. We are unique, and I reckon we can win the whole lot.” That’s not to say that those words mightn’t have been challenged at times!
HM: You become a premiership captain. Just the eighth premiership captain at the club. Do you have a sense of how significant that is in terms of the history of the club?
TC: I don’t think about what it means to me, but they way we’ve impacted people’s lives is incredible. I love that, and the stories that have humbled me. I spoke at the season launch about a family who consisted of two brothers and a father. They said the one thing they would ensure they’d do together was see a Tigers premiership. One of the brothers passed away at the start of last year, but they continued to purchase a ticket for him all year. That included a grand final ticket. They shed tears in the last quarter, and then they had an opportunity to have a photo with the premiership cup. They left a space for the brother. They’re the sorts of stories that are just incredible, and make the journey absolutely worth it.
HM: Such a great story. I reckon the moment of the season for me was when the cameras caught Brendon Gale breaking down, Peggy consoling him, and Richo just unable to control his emotions. It is a game that makes people feel so much.
TC: More than I can imagine. I get it now; I understand it. Early days, even the love I had for footy growing up, I don’t think I was ever a passionate football supporter, but living and breathing yellow and black for the last 10 or 11 years, I now get it. Fans have supported them for their whole lives!
HM: Dustin Martin. What do you reckon the greatest misconception is about your great mate?
TC: There’s a lot! I think the best thing about him having to do more media in the last 12 months is that people are starting to see the genuine loving and caring human being that Dustin is. He would literally die for people.
HM: He is one of your choices as babysitter of your kids.
TC: Yep.
HM: I don’t think you can basically give someone more praise than saying: “I will leave my two children with you, and you’re in charge.”
TC: He was coming over for dinner, and asked me what I was doing in the afternoon. I said I had Harper’s swimming lessons, and he immediately he was like, “Oh, what time, I’ll pop over”. There’s a lot of people there and he had to have a couple of photos, and that can sometimes challenge Dusty, but for a guy that could have easily just said that he’d meet us back at home in five, only to come an hour and fifteen minutes earlier because he knows how much it means to Harper; that’s just special.
HM: You at one point said to Dusty, “you’ve got a bumpy road ahead of you, come and live with me”.
TC: Yeah, I think he’d be the first to say that was his lowest point.
HM: What was he battling at the time?
TC: Just everything, really. How to live the right life to get the best out of himself. He had challenges with a bit of anxiety and so forth that he was seeking help for, but I think he just needed an arm. Brooke and I welcomed him into our house.
HM: So give me the Dustin Martin — as you know him — in a sentence.
TC: One of the most genuine and caring humans that’s grateful for what he has.
HM: When I say “grand final”, what immediately comes to your mind?
TC: Just happiness. And a smile.
HM: Jack Riewoldt. Better on field, or on stage with The Killers on Grand Final Day last year?
TC: (laughs) Horrific on stage! His voice could penetrate any ear drum, violently, he’s a terrible singer and a poor dancer. Good footballer though.
HM: I feel like you have never been more connected with football than now.
TC: I tried to live a life where I was Trent Cotchin, the Richmond AFL player, and Trent Cotchin the family man. I pushed footy away, but one of my light-bulb moments was that I could be both and still be the one person that I really wanted to be. I was forever trying to push away the stereotypes that all AFL players take drugs or they treat women with disrespect. I thought that if I lived a life where I was still embracing being Trent the AFL player, people would still paint me with that brush. Now I’m mature enough to know that I can still live by the same morals and behave in the same way and try to be an example for people, but be Trent in both senses.
HM: You won the Brownlow in 2016, four years after you’d played out the year. You’ve always slightly been uncomfortable about it. Do you feel more at ease with being a Brownlow medallist now you’re a premiership captain?
TC: I just feel at ease being a premiership captain, I think. I accept and acknowledge that taking out one of the game’s greatest honours for a season is a real feat, but for me, I’ve played the game because I love team sport, and being a premiership captain resembles exactly what I’m about.
HM: You are the captain of one of the biggest clubs in the land. Steve Smith is captain of, arguably, our most followed national team. How do you think he will be affected going forward from here, given the past week?
TC: It’s really hard for any individual to comment on without having all the information. It’s going to be the most challenging time of his life. He’ll have some people that support him, and he will need them, and he’ll have others that want his head cut off, in a sense. That’s the nature of sport, Australian sport, and being the leader of your team. I hope he copes with it. We all make mistakes.
HM: What would you do on returning home?
TC: Geeee … mmm … maybe get on the front foot. I think I’d be inclined to just open up to the world as to why. There may be a reason — who knows — and people won’t agree with it, but if you put yourself out there and just own it, and acknowledge it and accept that it was a huge mistake, maybe some good would come of it. It would be horrifically tough to deal with.
HM: You don’t drink much, you don’t bet, I’m guessing you’ve hardly had a speeding ticket. Is there anything that you would classify as a vice in your life?
TC: Chocolate.
HM: The perfect citizen. It’s good.
TC: I’m not perfect — I’ve got a lot of flaws — but I just hide them, mate.
HM: What would you say your greatest flaw is, then?
TC: The inability to say no. Dusty and I actually speak about that a lot. I feel guilty every time I do, but sometimes you have to. I need to be better at it.
HM: You’ve got to. Give me your perfect day.
TC: The perfect day would be waking up in the morning with the kids, giving them brekkie, then dropping them off to kinder because I know how much they love that. Then I’d have coffee with Brooke, pick the kids up, whack them in the car, let them have a nap in the car, drive down to our future farm, spend the afternoon down there, put the fire on and have dinner by the fire. That’s me.
HM: When it’s all over, after another 150 games or so, what do you think you’ll be doing with your life?
TC: I want to be involved in something where I’m helping others find themselves, or helping them realise their potential. That, for me, would be very fulfilling.
HM: Well done on captaining a premiership, and I’ll see you at the farm.
TC: I always look forward to that — thanks, Hame.
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/hamish-mclachlan-considered-and-wise-trent-cotchin-fighting-footy-stereotypes/news-story/a01289546f5059a0cf4d0b2706fbcf02
