'I spat the dummy': Summer of reflection helps 'reinvent' untried TigerBy Jennifer Phelan
afl.com.au
1 March 2020RILEY Collier-Dawkins used to keep a whiteboard in his room where he'd list goals, both short- and long-term, while on his journey to an AFL club.
Making the Oakleigh Chargers list. Tick. Hold his spot in the team. Tick.
Make the Vic Metro squad. Play well. Get drafted. Tick, tick, tick.
So, when he didn't make his AFL debut last year after being recruited as a big-bodied midfielder by Richmond at pick No.20 overall in the 2018 NAB AFL Draft, the absence of a tick next to that goal was glaring.
Especially when 15 of the 19 players drafted before him, and four of the next nine after him, debuted in their first season in the system.
"I did expect to play," Collier-Dawkins told AFL.com.au this week.
"I think most players when they get drafted imagine themselves playing.
"I definitely set high internal expectations for myself and I thought I was almost there a few times.
"The bad thing was I was thinking that because I didn't reach my goal, the rest I had were unreachable."
His frustrations peaked after round 12.
The 20-year-old was named emergency for the fifth time, without playing.
The following week, he wasn't on the team sheet at all.
He went back to the VFL, hurt that his debut had seemed so close and had now drifted to what he perceived as even further away.
"I probably drained myself thinking about it," he said.
"I took it pretty tough, more than I should have. I wasn't seeking advice on how to cope with it and I made it so much worse than it was.
"I sort of spat the dummy internally. I just thought it wasn't going to happen."
His mindset allowed complacency to sneak into his preparation.
If he was playing in the VFL, he'd arrive at the club 15 minutes before training, and had little interest in doing all the little things that players do to get the fittest version of themselves on the field.
"I'd get changed, do the meeting, and sort of go through the motions of it all," he said.
"I was doing myself a disservice. I knew I wasn't getting the best out of myself.
"People can warn you about how you'll feel when you have a form slump but you don't understand until you've been through it.
"Being so close had got the better of me … in hindsight, I should have reached out a little bit more."
But as the season wore on and spring approached, he started to find the light again.
Training got better. He worked with Trent Cotchin and Dustin Martin, who he claims "inspire excellence" in those around them.
He still didn't debut, but his two goals in the Tigers' VFL premiership win was his best game for the season.
"It was a turning point. One of the reasons was because I had a pretty good idea I wasn't going to play in the AFL Grand Final," he said.
"I was playing without fear of stuffing up. I played on instinct, and that's the approach I'm going to take this year."
While his teammates spread far and wide to celebrate the pair of premierships, Collier-Dawkins stayed close to home.
He wanted help his parents, Jacinta and Chris, move houses, and was keen to keep things simple with low-key catch-ups with friends.
He also wanted to start pre-season training in the best shape possible, which led to a strict eating regime that saw him strip six kilos from his frame.
A typical day started with an egg white omelette, and ended with a small steak and Caesar salad, with very little in between and very few carbohydrates.
For a teenager who two years ago went through such a growth spurt he wasn't immune to 2am drive-through takeaway pilgrimages, it was a tough way to shed what he called "puppy fat".
"It was more self-reflection than anything, what I could do better to give myself the best chance of attacking this year and playing senior footy," he said.
"It probably was a bit unreasonable, but I had to chop and change. The whole philosophy was right, I just had to get some science and logic behind it all."
When pre-season started, comments were made about Collier-Dawkin's trimmed frame, which looked even leaner without the mass of hair and required headband he wore late in the season.
Then, it was all about building him back up again – the right way.
He replaced the weight with a combination of muscle and fat, which took time to adjust to after he became a running machine in the off-season.
While he isn't as mobile as he was at his lightest, he's developed a power in his running that shaved 15 seconds off his 3km time trial result over summer.
"Last year, there were times where getting from contest to contest was just so tough," he said.
"I honestly feel just reinvented.
"I just feel so fit and it's not the ceiling yet but it's amazing to look where I was a year ago to where I am now, it's pretty surreal."
As for his mindset, he knows now that if things get tough again this year, he won't carry the burden on his own.
He's determined to approach each VFL game he plays as if it's an AFL one, although he's excited by the opportunity to break into Richmond's best 22, with the field to shift following Brandon Ellis' departure.
And he's not going to look at his AFL debut as the be-all and end-all, which is where he came undone in 2019.
"I've binned the whiteboard," he said.
"I've got some anchors I go back to, some words, some photos and quotes on a little cork board … it's just a much more level-headed approach.
"I've got to make sure I'm doing everything right, that I'm doing my vision, my stretching, getting my body right so that I can let myself do what I do best out there and if I do, that's awesome and I've earned it.
"I'm just going to focus on what I can do and if that means I play round one that's awesome, if it's round two or three, so be it.
"Although at the time I was disappointed and unsettled that I wasn't playing, I think I'll be a better player now because of it."
https://www.afl.com.au/news/379682/-i-spat-the-dummy-summer-of-reflection-helps-reinvent-untried-tiger
